For years I refused to go grocery shopping with my kids. I found that the trips were usually disastrous and I left the store feeling defeated. When the storm came crashing down on our home, all of that changed. While I do still look for those golden opportunities when the kids are at Awana or otherwise occupied, most of the time I shop with all 4.
Yes, you heard me right. I take 4 children grocery shopping. I have two girls ages 7 and 6 and two boys ages 4 and 19 months. I thought I would share with you some of the things that I have found to work for me. Some are obvious, but perhaps they will serve as a good reminder.
#1 Use your stores wisely: have a plan
I shop every week at Harris Teeter (my loss-leader, or coupon store).
I shop bi-weekly at Wal-mart (primarily for cheese, yogurt, and non-coupon items).
I shop Costco bi-weekly for produce mainly.
I don’t go into other stores unless I am alone. I also use the internet or garage sales to meet many of our needs.
During the summer months, I shop less frequently because I use fresh produce from the farmer’s market instead.
#2 Planning is key
I NEVER go to a store without a detailed list. My list is organized by aisle in the store. This step saves me a lot of time and a lot of turmoil from running back and forth for forgotten items in the other side of the store. Not to mention, it is virtually impossible to think while shopping with 4 young children.
I use the grocery gadget app for my list. You can build a list by typing an item in or by scanning the bar code. You can also use the website for entering recipes or tracking your family’s spending.
#3 Don’t shop at peak times
My first choice for shopping is 10am on a weekday. Second choice is evenings between 6:30 and 7:30. I avoid weekends if possible and NEVER go between 4-6 pm during the week.
#4 Review your expectations
Before going into the store, I tell my kids how I expect them to act and how long I expect to be in the store. This way I don’t have to remind them in the store, I skip straight to a consequence. After you do this a few times, you will find that you do a whole lot less nagging while in the store.
#5 Come bearing food
If you bring a snack, the kids will stay busy and be less likely to ask for things. I prefer lollipops. I only give food to toddlers. The older kids get special treats or snacks when the baby is napping and I usually have to remind them of this.
#6 The cart is your friend
My 4 year old still doesn’t realize that getting out of the cart is an option. I like it that way. I use standard carts, never the bigger two seater carts. They are simply too heavy and I can’t see over them with children inside. Our current arrangement is: baby in the seat, 4 year old in the basket, and the girls walk on each side of the cart. Many of the groceries end up under the basket, but it always works for me.
#7 Give everyone a job
The 4 year old is in charge of stacking and arranging the groceries within the cart. The 6 year old gets the items off the shelf and the 7 year old checks the items off the list. Occasionally the older two switch jobs. They love feeling like they are a part of the process.
#8 This is not the Indy 500
Quiet frankly, it’s ludicrous to take 4 children to the grocery store in a hurry. Somedays I regret that I don’t remember that. The store does not need to be a race. Take your time and enjoy it. Use the time to teach your children about nutrition and healthy food choices. Learn to read labels. Or teach them how to look for a good buy on a product.
Kim Sorgius
Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.
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Great tips! I am curious, what kind of consequences do you use while at the store?
My consequences have a tendency to vary by child. With very little ones, it has to be pretty immediate. I would take them out of the store and to the car. Then issue whatever consequence you would at home: time out or spanking. You can roll down the windows, strap the kid in the seat and then stand at the back of the car for a time out.
It has been my parenting experience thus far, that different children respond to different consequences, so I have never had set guidelines. Usually, I say something like, “mommy’s time is very valuable and you have wasted it by acting this way in the store, therefore you will have to give that time back to me by sitting in your bed for 30 minutes.” My kids are all pretty social and this works well with all of them. Another thing that works well is the loss of “screen time.” Screen time is the time they get in front of a screen. TV, computer,Wii, iPad, etc. I do it for 24 hours. I don’t usually do longer because I lose track.
Obviously I could write a whole blog post on consequences, haha! As a general rule for all things, I try and make the consequence as natural as possible. My kids don’t know the word “grounded.” For example, today we went to a play place that required socks. I told the kids to put on socks. Two didn’t obey. Because I was meeting friends there and didn’t want to suffer their consequence, I bought socks for them, but they had to do extra chores this afternoon to pay that money back. Hope all of this makes sense.
I love your examples of consequences, Kim!! These are the types of things I’m trying to figure out as Krew gets older.
Yes, those are great consequences. I especially like the concept of paying back time for time wasted. I would totally enjoy a blog post on consequences!
Noted. :-) I’ll get right to work on that!
Great tips. I think my “race” through the store is what frustrates everyone (even myself). Really need to prepare before I shop! Thanks for the reminder.
I have a tendency to race too. Not just in the store, either. I don’t have a lot of time, but there is always enough for what God is asking me to do. I am learning to give my kids the gift of having a mommy that isn’t always busy and rushed.
Remember that kids will be kids sometimes and don’t expect it to go perfectly. Our attitude going into it has a lot to do with how it goes. Smile lots!
I totally agree. If my attitude is bad, everything goes down the tubes.
I have 4 boys ages 6, 4, 3, and 16 months, and also shop with all of them on most occasions. I have friends with one or two kids that laugh at my “grocery shopping rules,” but you really DO have to have a serious game plan to grocery shop with so many little ones! Haha
, but you’re right – they sure are a hassle to navigate! I won’t be sad when my 4 year old is a little more trustworthy and can walk.
I DO use the big giant carts, because i have 3 kids that I need contained (and I also shop for 2 weeks at a time, and can’t afford to waste basket space on a kid!
The main tip I give to friends who have entered into the world of many littles is to PARK NEXT TO A CART RETURN!!! That way everyone is immediately contained upon exiting the car, and immediately back into the car upon leaving the cart. I will park at the outermost edges of the parking lot if I have to just to be next to a cart return! Haha
Another thing that I’ve just started recently that’s been very successful with my 2 oldest (who are my most likely to misbehave) is random treats for good behavior when we get back to the car. I don’t do it every time, or even most times, so that they never know when it’s coming. I’ve been surprised how much better behaved they’ve been if they know there’s a chance for a reward at the end. I laid out from the start that it is not something they have a right to, but rather a fun treat at my discernment, so they don’t really fuss on trips when they don’t get it either. (If they do, I just run back through the explanation, and remind them that if it becomes a situation where they feel entitled, I’ll stop the treats altogether).
I still will not say I ENJOY shopping with all four, but it has at least become something I do not dread!!
Thanks for the post! I love the idea about letting the kid in the cart organize. My kids are always best behaved when they have a job!