seasons of waiting {when you feel empty}

Today’s post is written by Shana.

When I was in high school and people talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up, I never answered, because I never cared about a career. I just wanted to be a mom. I went to college because that is what was expected, fully intending to find my husband, set up house and have babies. But four years later I walked ring-less across that stage, wondering what I was going to do now that my plan did not equal my reality. These years of waiting God grew in me tenacity and assertiveness.

My dream of starting a family was put on hold over the next decade. Each year I wondered how much longer I’d have to wait. One by one my friends tied the knot, quit their jobs, and bought minivans to hold their growing families. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with God? Why was I still waiting?

During those waiting years, my life made a dramatic change. God pulled me out of the miry pit of an eating disorder and depression. He showed me that I was His lovable and wanted child. God took this time of waiting to grow my persistence and integrity. Shortly after, I met my husband. My times of trial, heartache and waiting were over! God had answered my prayer.

But I quickly learned that just because you have one horrible trial in your life, doesn’t make you exempt from another one.  Over the next 18 months, I lost 3 babies to miscarriage.  Hadn’t I been through enough heartache? Hadn’t I shed enough tears? Hadn’t I learned enough lessons through waiting?

God again used a time of waiting to soften me. He brought about healing in untouched areas of my heart. He grew my fortitude and patience. And at the end of this time of waiting, He graciously gave us a miracle that we named Allison. My dream of being a mom was fulfilled with more joy than can possibly be described by words. And while life can be filled with more than one trial, it can also be filled with more than one miracle. We have since been blessed with 3 more miracle children (including a set of twins).

And He’s not done. I don’t think He ever will be.  But I have learned a powerful lesson by waiting:  when the trials come (and they will come), and I’m required to wait (and I have to wait), God is using that time to grow me. And with each new circumstance I’m becoming the daughter He desires me to be.

 I am a daughter of the King–forgiven and redeemed.  I traded in my nursing job at the hospital to nurse my 4 miracle babies at home. I am a true extrovert, energized by sharing a cup of coffee (and piece of cake!) with a good friend; and never let the constant pile of laundry and dishes keep me from doing something fun!  I love to cook, bake and watch a good movie; and I hate crafts, grocery shopping and pedicures.  I hope to one day walk on a white sand beach with a pina colada in hand.

Shana blogs at Voss Voyage.

Read other posts from this series:

1. seasons of waiting {introduction}

2. seasons of waiting {when the pain can’t be skipped}

4. seasons of waiting {when you feel alone}

5. seasons of waiting {when you feel like the door is shut}

6. seasons of waiting {1000 things}

7. seasons of waiting {how long}

Kim Sorgius

Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.

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Last updated by Kim Sorgius at May 16, 2012.

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