Hundreds of people filled the tiny room, as we shuffled through to take our number. Four little ones in tow, we crowded into the last empty chairs. The floors were filthy and the room was filled with a stench so thick you could feel it. It was only a few weeks after he left and money was already falling short. I needed help fast and this was the only way to get it.
I looked around the room as we waited. Coach purses, iPhones, and perfectly manicured nails were just a few of the white elephants in the room. My mind was filled with confusion. Am I not sitting in the social service building applying for food stamps? How on earth could they afford such things. A bit miffed, I clutched my Vera Bradley bag a little tighter to keep my own iPhone from being revealed.
Suddenly I could feel the heat of judgement rush over my entire body. Had I seriously just had ugly thoughts about this woman sitting next to me with her iPhone when I had one in my own bag? I tried desperately to defend myself. But, my Vera Bradley bag was a gift from my husband several years ago. My iPhone was being paid for by my sister who has a great business account with super cheap plans.
As I prepared my defense for the judge, He whispered in my ear. Yes, my child, and isn’t it possible that the other people in this room have reasonable explanations for their expenses, too?
For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. Rom 2:1-2
My heart was consumed with guilt. Who am I to judge? I don’t know her story. Perhaps she is sitting in this office for the very first time, finding herself in a desperate situation out of her control. If I didn’t chose my circumstances, maybe she didn’t either.
As I drove home filled with a wave of emotions from the experience, I saw his sign. Tattered clothes, scraggly beard, and a lifetime of possessions on his back, he begged for help. For a second I balked at his plea for money, but before my mind could find the usual excuses, I remembered. Maybe he didn’t choose his circumstances. Maybe all the judging in the word could not possibly reveal to me the sorrow and brokenness that might have paved the road to his cardboard sign.
Maybe I should be less consumed with WHY he’s here and more consumed with WHO he belongs to. Because even if he has a BMW parked in the parking lot, Jesus still graciously and mercifully adores him.
He is calling me to do the same.
Lord, open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers. ~Casting Crowns
Do you struggle with critical thoughts about others? How have you overcome such thoughts?
Linking with Better Mom, Modest Mom, Raising Arrows, Lowercase Letters, Far Above Rubies, and Graceful
Kim Sorgius
Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.
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This is a wonderful post! This is something I struggle with A LOT. I’ve been a super judgemental person in the past, but I’ve been working on changing that in the past year or so. I’m not perfect, so I shouldn’t be judging others for not being perfect either.
Great post! So true and you know I LOVE that song!
Beautifully written…I am continually reminding myself that I don’t know the whole story. It helps to remember that I know I have been judged by others who haven’t known my story either.
I can so relate to this having once been a single mom. The frustrating thing for me was that I had an ex-husband in prison, and a little boy to take care of. I worked at a church for peanuts and almost half of what I made went to child care. I didn’t qualify for aid of any kind. My $14,000 a year was too much income. At the same time, I had lovely clothes purchased by my husband before I knew that he came by the money dishonestly. Should I get rid of them? I wondered. Life is so complicated…and so much better when we aren’t walking in judgement.
Kim, we were talking about this yesterday in my 6th grade class. Our discussion was based on helping the poor and needy. I shared with them an experience in my life. Years ago I had to go to the Medicaid office to apply to be declined so Sertoma Club could help us with a new pair of hearing aids for Emily. As I sat there and looked at all the people, Jesus quickly reminded me that he loves them just as much as me. It’s something I will never forget. Little did I know that years later due to our financial situation Emily would be covered under Children’s Medical Services.
So very beautifully said. Can’t wait to read more.
I had almost the identical experience. I had to apply for Food Stamps after my husband left and hid my iPhone. He is still paying for it so we would have a phone. I always feel judged and therefore want to try to explain to everyone WHY I have a nice car and iPhone and Internet and at the same time I am having to ask for help. I don’t have a job even though I have applications in and I’m well aware of how it looks to people on the outside and it really does hurt.
Yes, I struggle a lot. It’s so much easier to focus on other people than to look inward. I love the quote “be kind for we are all fighting a hard battle”. It reminds me to remember that life is not easy for anyone no matter how hard they try to make it appear so.
I really struggle with judgement and condemnation. I think it’s because I judge myself so harshly, so I automatically assume that others must be judging me in the same way. I am learning that the only way to defeat this stronghold is to continually be in conversation with God…”Lord, I did it again! Forgive me. Help me see as You see.”
I love this. Even if you are not prone to judge others, we all play the part sometime! I love that Casting Crowns song.
Thanks ladies for offering up such great comments!