Today’s post is written by Dana Pittman.
She shattered my heart. At least, that’s the way if felt. My friend managed to take our friendship, crumble it into a little ball, and toss it out the window. In my shock, and grief, I shutdown.
All systems failed.
Houston…we have a problem.
I cried until my tears cried. I tried to pray but honestly did not know what to pray since I had seen it coming. It was like a runaway train. Heading straight for me. I thought I could dodge it yet remain on the same course. But not so.
I was left friendless and heartbroken.
For some, this may seem a bit dramatic. But for most of my life I was a loner. I am the eldest child and with it came a great responsibility. I worked. I did not have time for friendships.
Actually, I once did and because of a misunderstanding our friendship ended abruptly. Years later after we reestablished our relationship she shared that her boyfriend did not like me. What can I say? I was a feisty young woman who didn’t take any mess from anybody, which usually rubbed people the wrong way.
Unbeknownst to me, my heart made a pact with my fragile feeling. No longer, would I let people in. I would not love and give. No, I was just fine alone.
Who needs friends anyway?
Until this particular friend squeezed pass the pack and before I knew it. I had a girlfriend again. But our friendship was not meant to last.
You see along the way I noticed my life was missing something. My marriage was great. Kids awesome. But I felt a void. That void was Christ calling me back to Him.
In response, I began studying the Word nearly nonstop. I was in a Tuesday morning bible study and a Wednesday night bible study. I began reading the bible daily. And finally, I felt whole. Complete.
However, I did not realize my growing relationship with Jesus would cost me my friendship. I did not realize I was changing. Not physically because I still stood a mere 5’2. I still could talk to a fly on the wall. But I was different.
God was doing a work on me and I can’t say that I noticed.
Jokes between my friend and I did not hold that same humor. I did not care for hanging at the same places. Our tastes in entertainment changed.
I had decided to follow Christ. No apologies. No exception. And it was as if the more I said “yes” to Christ, the more I was losing my friendship. It wasn’t until I said goodbye to the relationship that I realized…I was not longer the same person. Yet, the pain of losing her friendship hurt.
I trust you.
I cried and prayed. I prayed and cried. I would see something cool and I couldn’t call her. I would drive pass our favorite hangout locations, and search the parking lot for her car. Until one day, I recall telling God…I trust you.
I trusted that He would comfort me (Psalm 23:4). I trusted He had begun a great work in me and He would see it to completion (Philippians 1:6).
Looking back it seems like that first big fight a couple has that establishes an unseen bond. The bond signaling, we may go through bumps in the road but I won’t leave you. He never left me.
I learned a great lesson. Trust God with everything. I did not realize I had such issues with friendships and women until I experienced the loss of this relationship. By letting God in, and trusting Him, He was able to help me see I had to address it.
How could I be called to lead women and not like women?
Years later, my work within the body of Christ has flourished. He healed my heart and filled my life with more wonderful women. I believe it’s all because I learned to let go and trust God to do what only He can do.
“My eyes fail, looking for your promise; I say, ‘When will you comfort me?’” Psalm 119:82
How has being a follower of Christ affected your closest relationships? How would you comfort those learning to trust God with all things in their lives?
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