The golden squares of the doors shimmer as the sun bounces in every direction. How badly I want to just leave them closed, but I know I can not. My hand reaches out to pry open what is heavy. The ascent to the forth floor consumes with anxiety. My knees are weak and I can scarcely find the strength to step out of the elevator. I whisper a prayer. Lord, I don’t have the strength to even move my feet. I am depending on you to do it. All too quickly, the door of the elevator opens and my feet submit.
I must remind myself of truth. God has asked me to fight for my family. He has put in place a government system that protects (Romans 13:4). I attempt to calm the shaking in my hands, as I scan the room for a trash can just in case the nausea becomes more. You would think it was my first visit here. But sadly I am a familiar face, having spent far too much time in this legal mess already.
She returns and leads me into her office. The paper she hands me feels so heavy that I must sit down. It’s very particles burn the tips of my shaking fingers. “It’s just a piece of paper,” she whispers. ” I know you don’t like it, but the court will order it so even if you don’t sign it.”
I know she is right. My failure to sign won’t stop it from happening. Even though it takes two to get married, I no longer have a voice. Failure to sign will simply waive any ability to help my kids. She steps out of the room to see another client. My eyes scan the white board in her office…full of cases. Trial dates, mediations, and more deaths of families. I can’t bare to look there anymore, so I shift to the other corner.
That is when HE gets my attention. On the wall, a printout of an email boldly proclaimed:
God brought you to this place, He will bring you out.
I look back down to a now tear-stained paper. God will bring me out of this.
Right there in the most dreadful place I know, God poured out His love for me. Reminding me that He is not absent from this place. The paper suddenly became meaningless. I knew I was in obedience and I knew that He had just wrapped me in His promise. He will bring me out. He is not going to leave me here in the dessert, gasping for air. He will bring me out.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18
Have you ever found yourself in a dreadful place only to be comforted by our precious Savior? I’d love to hear your story.
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