I sat heavy in the booth, trying desperately to ignore the words. But sentence after sentence was ripping out my heart. Heat rose over me and I closed my eyes to keep from coming unglued. You need to leave your wife, buddy. She’s dragging you down. You can’t be happy with her. There’s no hope left.
Here in the middle of Panera the sacredness of marriage was being tossed around like trash. Nauseousness fell over me. I wanted to jump up and shake the man to death. I sat for a moment unaware if anything else had been said, until he delivered the crushing blow. Why don’t you come to church with my family this week?
Brushing aside all fear, I said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but can I ask you something?” Of course, he obliged. I said, “do you think that you would be giving the same advice to your friend if I was his wife, sitting right here listening.” He looked a little puzzled, as I continued. “Of course, I’m not HIS wife, but I am a wife. A wife who’s husband sat across the table from a guy just like you 2.5 years ago. A man who didn’t stop to consider that damage, but only the alleged quest for self-happiness.” I continued on as I briefly recounted the devastation that our family has faced. Then I turned to the man who was given advice and said, “sir, I beg you on behalf of your wife, your children, and your God, PLEASE stay and fight for your life.”
Tears welled up in his brokenness and the room seemed to fall silent. I think the friend was so shocked at my boldness that he simply didn’t know what to do. I gave him my blog address and a promise. “If you decide to fight, I’ll help you.”
I don’t know where he is sleeping tonight, but I do know this. The thought of hope glistened in his eyes. Hope in something bigger than his own depravity. Hope that there is something worth fighting for. Hope that the creator of the universe is in the business of rebuilding the ruins.
Have you ever spoken up for something or someone that was difficult? Please share your thoughts with us!
Linking with Denise in Bloom
Kim Sorgius
Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.
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Bold, indeed! Great story!
I pray for your boldness. I pray for your heart. Oh, Kimberly, thank you, thank you for opening your heart to your marriage, letting God into you and letting him work. Thank you for sharing your amazing stories and thoughts. You my dear are a balm to my soul. I pray continued protection over you, your family, and your husband. May satan continue to fear every morning you get out of bed.
Awesome! I have no doubt that God placed you there, in that moment, for that reason. I pray that fellow takes your words to heart, and I pray that there will be more people with this kind of boldness who are willing to speak up for marriage.
Yay for your courage and for speaking up!
Wow! That gives me chills!
Tears and chills – thank you for being obedient, Kim!
Awesome, Kim! Thanks for the tears this morning. ;0)
So proud of your obedience, sweet sister in Christ! May God do a mighty work in this man and his family! May God show Himself mighty in their marriage and shine His healing light in their darkness!
May God pour out His richest blessings on you and your family, Kim!!!
Bravo for you! I was so proud of what you did that I just read it out loud to my husband! Oh for the rest of us to rise up in God’s boldness when He calls us to. Thank you for your example.
So proud of you for being obedient to the urgency in your spirit to point this man in the right direction. My husband was the one ready to leave just 5 months ago, and the people that loved him enough to be as bold with him as you were with this man at Panera are priceless. You can never know what reach your words have in a time such as this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for reaching out to him. I will pray for his marriage desperately.
I really hope we can meet at conference, Kim. I think you and I are on similar ministry paths. God bless you.
Tears came as I read this. I pray that the Lord will continue to give you wisdom in all things regarding your family. Keeping you in prayer.
Add my name to the list of people who got chills from reading this. That must have taken guts to say to a total stranger, and I love that you explained the realism of the situation but also that there was hope! Speaking up like that reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4…
I do say with the others that I’m so proud of you. But what I really mean is that I am so amazed by how God is working in you. And it inspires to hear of your boldness. He absolutely overflowed through you onto that stranger’s home. You planted the seed. He will do the watering. Absolutely a divine appointment. Love to you!
Beautiful and Bold! And isn’t it amazing how in one moment, one bold decision has the potential to redirect the very destiny of another? YOU were a vessel He used in that moment because YOU listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. When He asked, YOU said yes, and THAT my friend is what we were created for. And God is glorified in that! You inspire me with that story, thank you for sharing!
Thank you to all of you for your sweet words, but I must say this. There is nothing in me that deserves any kind of praise. I didn’t do this because I am bold. I did it because in my heart, I “KNOW” his wife. And in my heart, I couldn’t sit there while the enemy plotted for the destruction of her family.
Wow, I am so happy to read that you boldly stepped up and defended marriage. It breaks my heart any time I hear about someone considering divorce or who has already divorced. My husband had an affair two years ago and we were separated for 2 months while he was with the other woman. Thankfully, God restored our marriage and now we have a whole new outlook on our relationship with each other and with God. I have seen His healing power in my marriage, and I KNOW he can do it in anyone else’s as well
Megan @ wwwsunshinethroughthewindows.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing that, Megan. I love to hear stories of God’s amazing restoration!
I am grateful that God laid this on your heart. Since my divorce, I have shared with many the devastation of such a decision. You see, I am the one that asked for the divorce. I am the one that had no hope left and who gave up on my husband and on God. Sadly, I had NO ONE tell me not to. I had NO ONE share with me the ripping apart it causes. I had NO ONE share with me the sorrow and heartache such a choice causes. EVERYONE..family, friends and even the Pastor said things seemed hopeless and that I needed to get on with my life. My husband hadn’t had an affair. He had just rejected me. I won’t say that the rejection wasn’t excruitiating but it was a walk in the park compared to the pain I have experienced with my decision.
I am praying for a miracle. I am praying that God restores what I in such ignorance and rebellion ended. I am praying for God to take the brokeness of such a horrendous choice and put it back together better than it ever was before. In the meantime, however, I sit here broken and longing for the husband God gave me as a gift so many years ago.
Please, be bold. Stand up and declare that God hates divorce and that the reward for allowing Him to work miracles within your marriage will be countless. I wish I had been given a Kimberly in my life.
Thank you for sharing this with me, Shellee. I am in the process of writing a book for this very purpose. To educate people as to the destruction of divorce and offer up another option. One that does seem crazy to others, but provides amazing hope and healing! You have encouraged me today!
I am praying for you. Don’t give up! God hears your cries for restoration!
So awesome that you spoke out! I am sure you gave him a lot to think about. I hope he takes your advice!
I got goosebumps just reading this! Praying that that man seeks the Lord and reconciliation with his wife! Praise the Lord for your boldness. I can’t say I would’ve had the courage to do the same.
Your boldness leaves me with blurry tears. I probably would have sat there praying for them, which I know God would use mightily, but I know his anointing was on you. I lift up this man with you for God to move mountains in his marriage and healing in his life… – Pam, http://wordglow.wordpress.com
Beautiful story about what boldness and standing up for faith looks like. I pray he gets help for his marriage and I hope the seed you planted will flourish.
That’s amazing. How neat that you not only were bold enough to speak, but could speak from experience. It gives me chills.
God is so cool.
I absolutely adore you for doing God’s work!! I’ve never been so proud of someone I didn’t know personally in my entire life. May we all be so bold for Jesus and marriage.
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