single mom homeschooling

I picture her the same way you do: homeschooling momma driving a 15 passenger van, wearing handmade jean skirts and grinding her own wheat to bake bread. Her husband arrives home from a long day at work and leads the family in Bible reading and prayer time as they finish up a home cooked meal. Together the whole family cleans the kitchen as they sing praise songs. Once the baby’s cloth diaper has been changed, momma plans school for the next day before she settles in with a good Bible study.

Lovely isn’t it? It’s a perfect picture, but it isn’t reality. These things are good things. Things that are certainly beautiful and treasured. But they aren’t always real life. When we picture homeschooling families this way, we are focusing on their ideal best day, not their everyday. Real life is messy… even when you love Jesus. Even when you homeschool. Even when your family gathers round the table with a Bible in hand. The truth is, all siblings fight, mommas burn bread, and even christian homeschooling families walk through tragedies.

When my oldest child was just a few months old, my husband told me that we would homeschool her. Being a former classroom teacher, I wasn’t initially sold on the idea. I wasn’t against it. I just wasn’t for sure that it was the best option. My husband, however, was convinced. So, I followed his lead. I began teaching her casually at age 3 and was in full swing by kindergarten. Our second child followed just 13 months behind her and was usually a part of any lesson that we embarked upon. I started following blogs of large homeschooling families, reading books and attending conventions. I started DOING things that I thought made me a good homeschooler.

By the middle of first grade, the enemy attacked our home and everything came crashing down. Within a few months, he left and I was suddenly a single mom: a single homeschooling mom with a 1st grader, kindergartener, 2 year old, and baby on the way.

I bought the lie that homeschooling families were perfect. I tried hard to “make” our family fit this perfect mold and now I had no idea where to turn. It was such a crazy lie and so far from the reality of life.

It took me a long time to accept this reality. Somewhere in there, I was forcing homeschooling into a box. One that closed the lid and said- “Keep Out: imperfect families and single moms.” I bought the lie that I wasn’t enough, so I kept quiet. In God’s merciful grace, I didn’t quit homeschooling, but I did hide.

For so long I prayed that our family would be reconciled and once again fit into that perfect homeschooling family mold. I still pray a part of that prayer, but God has gently taught me that the perfect homeschooling family doesn’t exist. He’s taught me that I can still homeschool in the broken world because we are all broken, even those who aren’t showing it. Once I began to believe Him, he brought the Teach Them Diligently convention alongside me. TTD has encouraged me, prayed for me, and provided resources for me like no other convention. With TTD, I find no judgement or funny looks, only love and grace.

Homeschooling as a single mom is certainly a sacrifice. But if my eyes are fixed on Jesus, I remember that my purpose is to glorify Him. Teaching my children to love Him and enjoy Him forever is my calling. For now, that is done in my home. I pray that I will always be awarded this opportunity, but rest firmly in the protection and provision of our gracious God. Yes, this momma doesn’t see a lot of quiet time and rarely goes the bathroom without an audience. But in the end, I hope that this tiny sacrifice of my life agenda will enable my children to one day give up their lives for the ONE who gave it all up for us.

 

If you are homeschooling single mom, please consider joining our group, Home{schooling} Alone, where you will find encouragement for the everyday!

Comments

  1. says

    Hi there! I am so touched your post. I am humbled by your determination to complete the task the Lord has assigned to you. May the Lord continue to give you the grace moment by moment as you follow Him.

    You are a blessing!

  2. Leslie says

    Once again, your honesty and sincere love for the Lord is a great blessing to me and will be to many others. Thank you for allowing God to use you through even the most difficult of times.

  3. says

    Kimberly, this life isn’t perfect. I pray that God will heal your heart and your children’s…..as a child who grew up in a divorced home…and my own husband and I divorced and remarried…it truly hits the heart… I love you so much and am blessed by you and your faith to step out, and share God’s word…even in the midst of hurt and pain.

  4. Leah says

    Thank you for sharing your story. I never thought that I would be homeschooling especially as a single mom. Not many understand the struggles and lack of resources especially when there’s little family support. I know that real life is hard even when there are 2 parents, but it is hard not to be consumed when you are trying to do both roles…Only Jesus…so thankful for Him partnering with me to be my husband and leader of our home. We have not gotten into a homeschool rhythm yet with my crazy work schedule but we are praying and asking God to make the path straight and to raise up the support that we need to make learning fun again. May God bless you with everything that you need…including the desires of your heart.

  5. says

    I had to chuckle reading your first paragraph… because that is so not my home. I agree it sounds great… and maybe is a reality for a few… but not even most married homeschoolers look like that. ;-)

    Thank you for sharing your experience with others. You are a great encourager to many! And hearing of many single homeschooling families out there… I’m sure they are glad to hear that they are not alone!

  6. says

    Simply beautiful, Kim. God is using your words and experiences to bless the lives of many. Congratulations on choosing to follow your calling and keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus even when it seemed like everything was falling apart. You are a beautiful, brave, courageous young woman and your children will surely be blessed because of you. (Hugs!)

  7. Karen says

    I found myself nodding in agreement many times. As a single ammo who homeschools this touched my heart. Beautifully written.

  8. Tracy Parris says

    I was in your shoes for many many years. I was pregnant as well with 3 older children and continuing alone on my homeschooling quest. God stayed with us, God guided us, God is getting us through it. My two older boys are now in college and high school, my two younger I continue to homeschool. It is a precious calling and the rewards are tremendous. I am so proud of each and every one of my kids and how they have handled what they had to go through. I prayed as well for reconciliation…as did they. But God revealed to me years later that He was protecting us, He was our provider, He was the head of our household. Who would be better than Him? God’s heart is with the fatherless, and when the dad leaves the home, it is a fatherless home. What a wonderful FATHER God is, to step in and love us taking care of us every step of the way. Looking back now, I miss those days having all four with me at all times. Cherish this time with your children. Cherish it even more being a single mom. God bless you!

  9. Whitney says

    I am so glad you posted this Kim, and grateful to find it on TTD fb. Your words were an encouragement. I’ve been single for about 15 years now. I understand the “hiding” part. If it weren’t for my Lord and Savior we would have been undone. I’ve not really met other single homeschooling moms and still have a hard time when asked about my husband (he left when our 5th child was only 5 days old). People do mean well, but it makes them uncomfortable, too. We are very blessed to be in a solid, loving church body with brothers and sisters in Christ who love and mentor our family. We are in our 19th year of homeschooling. By God’s grace and mercy we know Him, are protected by Him (have seen this so much), are provided for, ministered to and loved immensely and eternally. He has directed our home, our hearts, and challenged our faith… in that, even when it seems so dark in front of us and our future unknown, we seek His face, hear His voice and step out (sometimes timidly) in faith and obedience in what He, our Lord and our God, has called us to do… by faith…. and HE is faithful, HE is radiant, HE is strong and a shield to those that put their trust in Him. The enemy is cunning… BUT CHRIST IS SUPREME AND REIGNS FOREVER.
    We have been able to homeschool for the all these years…by God’s grace and mercy and because it was HIS will. I’ve not had to, as of yet, work outside the home which has allowed me to be home with the children all this time. That is a miracle in todays world. My oldest is 25 and youngest is 15 (do miss those little kiddos who are now big kiddos) :)
    I would love a chance to meet other single parent homeschoolers. Maybe at the next TTD conf? We live in SC. Please contact me if you are able. God Bless and will be praying for you and your family :)

    • Kim Sorgius says

      Hi Whitney,
      We were just talking about doing something for single moms at the TTD conference this year. I will certainly be at the one in SC. :-) Are you on Facebook? We’d love for you to join our group! If not, please email me so we can chat!

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