If only I had known.
Time would pass and this vow would end up landing me in credit card debt. As a young college student, appearance was everything and I simply had to fit in. I would fill closets full of clothes in attempt to soothe a wound, but the scab continually ripped open. Debt mounted and nothing got better.
One day, a tiny babe was born into my arms and I was determined to make up for it all. We never left home without a darling little bow and the latest outfit from the most expensive of stores. I refused all second-hand clothes and store brand varieties. I simply would not let my children suffer the same pain. Granted, I had no idea the root of this apparent “snotty” behavior, but in my mind, we could only buy the best.
If only I had known.
One day the money ran out and I simply had no choice. I had read about how frugal shoppers had gotten fabulous deals on great clothes at yard sales and consignment sales and I knew I needed to make a change. I set a date to go to a yard sale and I prayed that God would show me that it was worth my time and effort. Of course, He did not fail to show off. That day I found so many useful items for my family. None of which had holes. It took quite some time to let go of the trauma that I had ingrained in my head. Little-by-little God graciously healed wounds and showed Himself faithful. Our clothes became blessing whether they had tags or not. Stains and rips were easily overlooked.
Until recently when someone told me that I needed to get a real job so that I could have more than two pairs of pants. The comment brought back a flood of feelings over all that I had believed as a young girl. I wondered why this person would say such a thing until I realized that I only had two pairs of pants. Actually, I have one pair of pants and one skirt. I’ve got a handful of shirts, most of which have holes. My kids wear all second hand clothes and most of them are stained or bear holes. I may have been better off back at Kathy’s Kloset.
But now I know.
Clothing is actually not as much of a “need” as I used to claim it to be. I’ve come to see that clothing is rather irrelevant in the scheme of things. Where I used to think that my appearance mattered, I’ve learned that the people who are interested in judging me for what I wear are the exact people that I’m better off not developing a friendship with anyway. Oh, to have learned that as a young girl. Imagine the heartache and money that I could have saved. Plus, there are millions of people on this earth that would be thrilled to have as much as I have. I’m truly wealthy.
Even, if I have to wear the same skirt and brown pants everyday for the rest of my life- who cares? This life is but a vapor and I want everything I have to go toward the love and care of these precious souls, who one day will be called to the same mission: serving and honoring Christ in the days and moments that He gives us.
Last updated byat .