I fidget before her on a stale sofa, pouring out the wounds of my soul. She listens and watches. I weep over the destruction of my home, the betrayal of vows, and the brokenness of hearts. I tell her of the tears I wipe and the babies that scream in the middle of the night. The sign on her door promises godly counsel and I’ve come desperate. Finally she breaks the silence with her solution. “You need to know that God loves you”, she whispers. The words soothe my soul. Yes, my need for God’s love is deep, but how do I find it? She hands me a list. The answer: 101 ways to love yourself. My heart sinks as I walk away from a shattered hope.
The 10 minute drive home is long and the tears fall hopeless. I glance again at the list.
Number 13… Take a bubble bath…
Number 47… light a candle and watch a Disney movie…
Seriously? Perhaps I have struggled to know God well, but a candle and a Disney movie hardly seems like the way to remedy this problem. My heart weeps for my own pain, but it bleeds for them. Four precious babes under 7 years old…who need more than a Disney movie and a candle. The babysitter is paid and the day presses on with dinner and all the usual motions. The world seems to spin violently out of focus. I realize my need for the quiet and begin to tuck in their little souls. But their hearts are hurting and sleep won’t come. She cries, he cries. I cry. Moments turn into hours as we snuggle in the pain.
A hush finally falls over the room, yet I can still hear her whimper. It’s the aftershock of a hard cry. The kind of cry that sends fists flying, feet stomping, and anger ranging. It’s no stranger in our home. Even after all these years, the pain and injustice cuts deep and their little hearts can not fathom the why. I hold her close, thankful that I have the opportunity. I bask in the chance to speak truth into her heart and comfort into her pain, all the while clinging to the hope that can only be found in the Redeemer. A smile cracks and she whispers, “He’s taking care of us mommy, isn’t He?” I nod with a confident smile. “Yes, baby.”
How, then, do we parent a hurting child?
Join me starting October 15, 2012 for a 10 day series for every parent! We will walk through many different ways to help your children deal with the circumstances that life hands them. Whether the pain is temporary or long-suffering, we will point them to God’s promises in the hurting.
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Parenting a hurting child series:
Looking for practical parenting ideas? Check out my series on Husbandless-homemaking for ideas that any mom is sure to enjoy!
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Kim Sorgius
Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.
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This looks good. You are certainly on the right track, which is not Disney movies and bubble baths–but the Redeemer! I also have had to struggle my way through learning how better to parent a hurting child. God bless you and your series on this important subject!
Wow, I am really looking forward to this series! I have 4 hurting children. One because of his high functioning autism and the other three because of … well, his high functioning autism. Their broken hearts are so tender and this calling of parenting hurting children is not easy. Without the Redeemer, I cannot imagine making it through!
I do understand. I have two extremely hurting children. They were adopted at ages 4 and 7 1/2. They are now 10 and 13. They both exploded one day last year from the frustration of their past that my husband and I knew nothing about. We tried outpatient therapy but now have placed them into a treatment facility. They have many diagnosis bus RAD – reactive attactment disorder is the main diagnosis. Blessings, Diane http://www.recipesforourdailybread.com I would love for you to visit me. I am going to follow you.
We had several foster children with RAD. SO hard…
This promises to be a good series! You are just full of them lately! Thanks for linking up!! (I pinned this)
Yes, my daughter went through a hard time when our foster children left. It’s horrible to watch them in pain…
I recently lost my best friend, my friend that I studied and talked about our Lord with. How I wish I lived close to you because you sound like an amazing woman. Bless you for what you have brought to us.
What a sweet thing to say! While it is wonderful to have close friends in physical location, I have to say that I have developed some amazing friends online!
Followed a pinterest link here from Jessica Bowman. I will be watching, reading intently and eagerly. I have a hurting child, my firstborn and sometimes I fail to love her in the way I know God is calling me to love her. I will be sitting at your feet through this
I just wanted to tell you I think you are amazing and that I am praying for your sweet family. May God continue to be your refuge that you seek.