Hi friend, this post is part of my series: parenting a hurting child. I pray that you will be blessed. Check out the other posts in the series and be sure to subscribe so you won’t miss any updates.
She chased me with a knife. Up and down the hallways of our rather small double-wide trailer, my sister would chase me into submission. She was younger, but quite a bit more feisty. When she wasn’t holding me hostage, she was setting up pretend school buses that we would all ride into the sunset. Honestly, I have more fond memories of my sister than I can count. Even the knife episodes bring a smile to my face. Not because we were ever perfect or should be nominated to be the poster-child for sibling relationships, because through it all, she always had my back.
Between the two of us, we’ve been on drugs, had a teen pregnancy, experienced divorce and struggled with weight issues. Our lives were certainly not picture perfect, but we are family. And family is the tie that binds. It’s the one thing you can count on. That one group of people that loves you when you are ugly, serves you when you are selfish, and gives you the shirt off their very own back when you are needy.
It took us quite a few years to get to this point. I often wish that my life was better and that the storms would never have raged, but what I have come to realize is that if you see your family as broken…so it will be. No, we can’t change our circumstances, but blessing comes from the Joy that we have in the Lord. That Joy will never be found when our eyes are fixed on circumstances. So today, we have a choice. We can believe that our families are doomed to destruction because of the pain and despairing circumstances forced upon us… or we can chose to believe God’s plan over our lives, complete joy.
Friends, it’s time we redefine the word family through God’s eyes…
Family is complete in God
Whether it’s divorce, death or even deployment, I know that most of you have gaping holes in your family. Oh friend, believe me when I tell you how real that pain is for me. I’ve been on every side of this coin and the hole is huge. I wouldn’t dream of minimizing the destruction of divorce for fear that someone would read this and justify their selfish decision to walk out, BUT I can offer hope. Or rather, I can offer the ONE who is our hope. Friends, Jesus IS whatever you lack. He is that missing parent who abandoned. He is that husband who walked out. He is our comfort, our friend, our provider and our protector. In HIM, our family is made complete until such a time that the wholeness is restored.
Family takes care of one another
As a parent, it’s always crucial to teach your children to invest in the family. As a parent of a hurting child, this one thing can make or break them. When times get tough, we need to stick together. We can’t do that if we are always pursing our own needs and interests. We know what this looks like, but it can be difficult to be diligent at it. I’m praying for you today, friend that God will give you the strength for the fight. The strength to teach them…to help each other, to hold each other, to serve each other, to build one another up… For all we really have is each other.
Family is everyday
Family is that person who tucks you in at night or rocks you when you have a bad dream. NEVER dismiss that truth friend. The hand that rocks the cradle…really does change the world. Maybe you are not this child’s biological parent or perhaps you are struggling to fill the shoes of one who left in search of greener pastures. Whatever the circumstance, you are making a difference. What are you doing in the darkness will never be forgotten, even if it’s overlooked by every single human being. May we delight in the moments we have, making family our everyday blessing.
Play video games or apps as a family, passing around the control to one another…
Take a nature walk in your backyard or at a nearby park…
Drive to the airport and watch the planes land…
Pick apples or take a trip to the farmer’s market…
Crank up the music and have a family cleaning day…
Snuggle in bed with a pile of books…
Lay on the floor and play with toys…
Gather together and watch the garbage truck empty the cans on your street…
Pile on the pillows and squash one another…
Family is in the everyday blessing. Make today a blessing, even if it hurts. Read 10 more ways to make memories and chose your favorite today. It’s not the Saturday circus that your kids will remember, but the everyday moments that you always made special.
Friend, your family is blessed…will you chose to see it that way?
This post is part of ihomeschool network’s Hopscotch series.
Kim Sorgius
Kim is just a girl, crazy in love with Jesus. She's a single mother of 4, a passionate homeschooler and life-long student. After teaching 8 years in public school, she traded her M.A. in Early Childhood for sippy cups and homeschool co-ops. Kim is the owner and editor of The Homeschool Village and Not Consumed where she encourages others to rest victoriously in the hands of God, rather than allowing life's difficult circumstances to consume.
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Oh, such sweet words and reminders. This journey on this fallen planet is so filled with the ugly. But, we are called to be the light….the beauty – reflecting His image…we can do that by loving others more and by teaching that to our children through the moments of every day. I am so blessed by you, Kimberly…..and I pray many hearts are able to begin the healing process through your words.
God has truly blessed you with the words to say the right thing at the right time. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I am always thankful for all my family, the blood family and the extended family. My life has been hard, but I know that the Lord is always with me. Thank you so much for the words. May God Bless you and your family
I am a new reader (and subscriber!) to your blog, but I am LOVING what I am reading (especially this series!) I needed this reminder today- that my family is not broken, that Christ is the redeemer, and that we need to draw together, not apart! Thank you!