7 Strategies for Overwhelmed Moms
The conversation was sweet and harmless. You know, the kind that gave no indication it would lead to a heart-wrenching conclusion. She asked, “Did you like us better as babies, or now?” I laughed and shared that each stage of a child’s life has a special thing to love, but she wouldn’t give up. “Will you still like us when we move out?” she continued.
I did what any mother would do and joked about how fun it would be if we all bought a big ranch and built houses for their families there. What happened next was not at all what I expected. Her sister belted out, “Well, I had better get a husband first to help me build that house.” And she snapped back, “What? I don’t want a man. It’s not worth the risk. I can do it all on my own like Mom does.”
My heart sank at the blatant lie. All at once, I felt glad I was driving where no one could see my reaction and yet anxious in knowing I was going to have to say something. An eternity of silence separated the next few moments. I wanted to tell her so many things and correct what seemed like a million wrong things in that tiny statement.
I wanted her to know that this is not how God intended things to be and how He designed men and women to complement and help one another. I wanted to tell her that all people make mistakes and that a godly marriage is worth the risk. Instead, I settled on the simple truth.
“Baby, I don’t do it all by myself. God makes up what is missing when things are broken.”
Oh, friend, what a sweet truth that is! What a sweet blessing God has given us in the brokenness. Friend, you might not be a single mom, but I know you face challenges. I know your life faces the reality of a broken world. I know you, too, sometimes feel like you are grasping to “get it all done.”
I know you might also hear that silly question—the one I hear at least a few times every WEEK!
“How do you do it all?” The answer is simple. I don’t.
Of course, I know that isn’t very helpful, and you know I have figured out some things to make this life thing run a bit smoother. After all, if my kids think I can manage this on my own, it must not be as chaotic as it feels, right?
7 Strategies for Overwhelmed Moms
1. Don’t even attempt to “do it all.” You can’t. If life’s circumstances are crazy, you will have to let things go. This isn’t really negotiable. But remember, God gives us the grace and the strength to do everything He wants us to accomplish today. Pray and ask Him what things you should lay aside.
I know for me, I had to let go of cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms by myself every day. I created chore charts to teach responsibility to my kids from a young age. Not only do they learn the value of hard work, but I also get more time with them. I promise, no child will ever think back about the amazingly clean house he had if he had an amazingly absent mama. My kids may not remember Mom standing over a kitchen sink, but they will remember the stories we read and the cuddling on the couch.
2. Get up before the kids. Believe me, I know tired. My 4th child gave me a run for my money when it came to sleepless nights. Plus, I was a single mom by the time he was born, so trust me when I say that I could sleep every day for a month and still feel tired! But I’m telling you, this one thing will make or break your day.
Even if I’m up just 15 minutes before my kids, I feel like I’m ready to conquer the world. When I wake up to them piling in the bed, or worse, fighting in the living room, the day is off to a not-so-wonderful start. Of course, part of this process is actually starting your day with God. I promise if you give Him the first and best of what you have to offer, He will match that with grace and strength that you can’t even imagine! Need help getting started? Try the #NotConsumed Scripture Cards for Moms. Our Scripture Cards are prayerfully curated promises from God’s Word that will encourage you to meditate on scripture daily. Display the verse on the wooden holder or send the card to a friend!
3. Start believing in the schedule. Every single time my life starts to get out of hand, it’s because we’ve gotten away from our schedule. Trust me, the schedule really changes things. I’m not saying you need to micromanage every five minutes of your life. You can work in chunks of time. That used to be my preference, but I’ve found that the busier life gets, the more detailed my schedule needs to be. These days we follow this schedule more closely.
4. Keep lists. You need every minute of your day, so why not budget your time? You can use those five minutes if you have a list ready with things you need to accomplish. Without a list, you will find yourself wasting those five minutes. I keep a list with three columns: things I can do in less than 10 minutes, things that need 30 minutes, and things that need a few hours. Then when I find myself with a little time, I can easily use it instead of spending the whole time trying to think of what I need to get done. Don’t like paper? Go digital with To Do. It’s an app, plus it has a desktop version. I use it 100 times a day!
5. Have fewer things. I know this is a hard one. We live in a culture where we are constantly bombarded with messages and images that make us believe we need more. But we don’t. In fact, there aren’t many material possessions we absolutely have to have. I would challenge you to get rid of as much as possible.
In the course of my life’s trials, I have downsized over 2,000 square feet. In that time, I have gained another child, and the other three are getting larger. Space is at a premium, but I’ve learned that less really is so much better. I truly enjoy the smaller house, and I enjoy having fewer things. Plus, it’s not just about keeping things cleaner. It actually helps my children to have less. This begins with teaching an attitude of gratitude and finding godly contentment in the everyday. Start writing down your list of things to be thankful for today. We’ve got a free Thankfulness Printable Pack that you’ll love!
6. Multi-task. If you are no good at this, don’t do it. We want quality over quantity anytime. But I find that there are many things I must do in my day that are good candidates for this. For example, teeth brushing. It takes about three minutes twice a day. Seems like it wouldn’t help much, but it really does. I generally use this time to straighten the counter space in my bathroom, read something online (laptop), or even do a few squats. Also, I often call out spelling words while chopping veggies for dinner or listen to someone reciting a Bible verse while I wash dishes.
Don’t do anything twice that you can do once. What do I mean by this? It’s simple. Combine trips, meals, and ideas to make your life easier. On Tuesdays, when my girls go to piano, the boys and I drive three minutes down the road to Publix and do our weekly shopping. That way, I don’t drive home for the hour. It’s a waste of valuable time!
7. Do it on the go. There is nothing we can do about doctor’s appointments, piano lessons, and other activities that take us away from home. However, there is no reason to waste this time. If we plan ahead, this can be a powerful tool for getting that to-do list completed.
When we have a doctor’s appointment, I will take a read-aloud and take care of that part of our school day while we wait. My kids often bring some of their school with us so they can work while I talk to the doctor. It amazes me that so many people sit in waiting rooms with nothing to do. Bring a book you need to finish (or want to). I sometimes even bring my laptop and spend some time writing.
This photo of the parking lot that my son created on my back while I was writing is a fond memory of multi-tasking!
Your turn—> Which one are you going to try first? Remember, baby steps. Just pick one and get started!
Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.
I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed these days so this is encouraging, thanks! I clean the bathroom counter while brushing my teeth too;-) I’ve got the multi tasking down. It’s getting up before the kids that I have trouble with though I love it when I do! I used to be a morning person….but that was five kids ago:-)
Oh yes! I used to be a morning person 4 kids ago… Haha!
I NEEDED to see this post. I felt as if it struck me to my very core. I struggle constantly with wishing there were more hours in the day or hoping I can get everything done on my crazy list all while balancing my many roles in life. Thank you for this Kim. I am going to see if I can schedule in chunks as opposed to just trying to piece things together. Keep leaning on Him and I am sure He will bless you in your endeavors.
Great tips! These are exactly the things I do to keep everything running smoothly, and I can definitely tell when I stop doing even one of them!
You are a precious soul–your heart comes out in what you write, and it encourages and blesses. I will share this post to the mothers who visit my Pinterest boards with great relish! I especially liked the three-column list system you use, which will work nicely in next year’s planner!
I really appreciate this! I have the “have less things”, “multi-tasking” and “making lists” down. Our schedule at home keeps modifying and I see that I need to make an adjustment for the evening chunk to have that winding down and reflection-time be a regular routine as it was before. I’m doing a degree program online so I start my school work earlier in the night while my daughter is up. So while I’m occupied she’s up and about when she should be in bed and the following morning it’s a struggle to get her out of bed. I didn’t adjust our schedule accordingly… 🙁 time for some “mommy damage control”!
I hear ya. You’re not alone in making choices like that. Aren’t you glad that God is full of grace? 🙂 I know I am!
What a great blog post ! Usually when I find a post about this topic, it’s full of things I already do and it’s not much help. This one has things I already do along with some new ideas that I’m excited to start implicating. You have a wonderful blog, keep it up! God bless you and all the other overwhelmed moms out there 🙂
Thanks for your sweet words. So glad this was helpful to you.
I am so glad I saw this. We recently became guardians of our 4 grandchildren (6-12yr) . My baby is 26, so we are starting over. It is hard to go from empty nest for 8 yrs to a full house again! Your tips are wonderful! Some I already do, but welcome the others! We have been blessed and thank goodness I have the Lord on my side…with him all thingsare possible!
I can’t begin to tell you how GREAT this is. I’ve had my sisters from church encouraging me daily to just take it one step at a time. This sort of just completes everything I’ve been trying to do and everything they have been helping me with. I appreciate your blog and look forward to reading more of it.
Love it when God validates what we’ve been learning through others! 🙂
Oh how I needed this today of all days. I’m a single momma of one, working full time trying to “do it all” but I can’t! Thank you for your honesty and your heart. Thank you for the simplistic ways to do what matters most – love out kids and spend time with them! Thank you for letting God be your focus and letting your kids embrace that as well.
This is a great post! So helpful, but you may want to change the title to “8” instead of 7. You have two things listed as #3! Oopsie! Sounds like a mistake I’d make, too. 😉