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when the grass always seems greener

Somewhere between the pointing of fingers and the discontentment of Facebook, is the reality of the hard life. The moments where someone else always seems to have it better than I do. That place where I find myself often arguing with God over the “she gets.”

She gets to be home all day.
She gets to sleep in bed with her hubby every night.
She gets to rock a baby to sleep tonight.
She gets to eat whatever she wants without gaining a pound.
She gets to talk to adults everyday.
She gets to go on a family vacation.
She gets flowers on her birthday.
She gets her nails done.

If I’m not careful, the “she gets” carry me away to an imprisoning island of discontentment. An island that promises crystal clear waters and sandy white beaches, but delivers thorny bristles and a bitter taste of selfishness.

Can’t she be grateful for what she has?

Instead of mercy for a hurting friend, my heart delivers envy of the worst kind. This, friend, is where I get into trouble…comparing situations with a critical eye. For every up comes with a down. Every rainbow, a drop of rain.

You would think by now that this obvious truth would run deep in my heart. But it doesn’t. The grass still seems a little greener over there sometimes. I still buy the lie that if I just had what “she gets” then my life would be better. This fallacy fails to recognize the blatant truth…HER LIFE ISN’T BETTER.  Just different. And while I may find it gut-wrenching when she complains about one night alone, knowing I have faced 912, that really doesn’t make my circumstances worse.  Just different.

For if I continue living here in this barren island of discontentment, I will find myself empty and alone.

She did not intend to imply that her life is pitiful. It’s my circumstance that hears that lie. And if I agree with it, I’m rowing a sinking ship to that island. Instead, I must choose to bear the pain and have mercy for her situation. Not judgement. For don’t you remember, I don’t know the whole story.

He asked me to love. Without abandon.  Without condition. Without judgement. Without envy over circumstance. For yes, “she gets” but so do I.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus, for you. 1 Thess 5:18
Do you struggle with comparing circumstances? Do you find yourself critical of someone else, knowing that it’s your lens causing the pain? I hope you will share with me today, knowing that I pray over every single one of you.


  1. Becca says

    this post and the ones you linked hit straight to my tendencies. we must keep combating our thoughts and feelings with the truth. over and over. it is hard. but it is the truth. 

    • Becca says

       Oh and as Lara said yesterday (http://tooverflowing.com/ill-take-what-she-has/), we need to speak blessing over the person that we are feeling these things toward/”because” of. I only mean because in the sense that seeing them or thinking about them triggered the thoughts. Not that they personally caused it.
      And then another friend taught me to pray a prayer saying, “God forgive me for believing this lie (inserting specifics). I break the power of that lie over me in Jesus name. Teach me to believe this truth (inserting specifics).”

  2. says

    What a beautiful reminder. It reminds of a quote that I am trying to apply to my own life, “You may think the grass is greener on the other side. But if you take the time to water your own grass than it would be just as green.”

  3. Natalie says

    you hit the nail on the head!  this is my hardest battle.  thank you for your words and prayers.

  4. Fanta4two says

    Thank you for opening your heart to us. I surfed in from WLW and am so glad I did – I can totally relate to this.

    I’m also trying to make a difference by encouraging young mommies in their walk over at http://www.fanta4two.com. I’ll be following your blog so that I dont miss further insightful posts.

    God bless you, sister!

  5. Julie says

    1 Thessalonians 5:18 – give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.Not a suggestion, but a command. And not because He’s a mean, punishing God, but because He is truly a loving Heavenly Abba Father who desires the best for us.Jeremiah 29:11-13 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.    Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.    Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

  6. Elizabeth says

    You are very right, we should all be grateful for what we have and stop coveting our neighbors, friends and strangers!  While we may be comparing our lives and things to others we need to remember that someone may be doing the same to us, thinking that we are the “lucky” ones.  In reality we are ALL lucky!  We are all daughters and sons of God.  I really appreciated this post.  It reminded me as to why I decided to take a 3 month break on the social networks of facebook and pinterest and really focus on my own life and blessings that surround me every single day.  God bless!

  7. Aadel says

    Sigh- too often I am concerned about what other’s should be grateful for instead of just being grateful for my own circumstances.  I don’t see my “she gets” sometimes.  Thank you for this reminder.

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