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Not Consumed

Spiritual Growth » Biblical Parenting » Parenting Toddlers Without Losing Your Mind

Parenting Toddlers Without Losing Your Mind

November 9 By Kim Sorgius 84 Comments

9 Nov
parenting-toddlers

Parenting toddlers is one of the hardest jobs! These tips including do’s and don’ts from a practical and spiritual perspective will help.

Remnants of lunch smeared across her pants, she totes a toddler on one hip and a diaper bag big enough for a family of 12. She can’t remember the last time she slept through the night or went to the bathroom by herself.

“No” is her new middle name, and an empty coffee cup is a serious emergency. Yep, she’s parenting a toddler. Possibly the most physically exhausting job there is. And somewhere in there, she’s supposed to train that little heart toward Jesus?

Parenting toddlers

I remember those early parenting days well. My first two babies were 13 months apart. And I quickly wondered if I’d ever go to the bathroom without someone dumping a box of cereal on the carpet or if my Bible would grow dust from all those mornings I was just too tired to crack it open. Parenting toddlers was hard. Even though I was so graciously blessed with the privilege of having those sweet little tots, it was plain difficult, and many days I thought I might lose my mind.

Mom, just because your friend has 2 or 3 more kids than you do, don’t discount how difficult those toddler years are. Don’t discount how hard it is to parent even one toddler. This parenting thing is new every day, and just when you think you’ve got the little guy figured out, he changes.

I have a post on consequences for kids. The post itself is full of ideas that are applicable to children about ages 5-12. But this leaves a huge gap. Knowing that those early years—before age 5—are crucial to your child’s development, I wanted to offer up a few pieces of wisdom for parenting toddlers. Be encouraged, Mama, you can do this!

The Don’ts of Parenting Toddlers

Don’t take it personally … defiance is a flesh issue, not a reflection of her love for you. She’s trying to figure out what it means to be her own self in this world. Defiance is part of the process!

Don't take it personally

Don’t always hover … let her experience minor natural consequences for naughty behavior. Maybe she falls and scrapes her knee after you asked her not to run. Maybe she bumps her head when she keeps running through the house. Obviously, you want to make sure she’s not in danger, but minor natural consequences are key to learning obedience.

Don’t explain everything … he isn’t ready for theological or moral reasoning. Parenting toddlers means giving simple instructions without a lot of explanation. You’ll have plenty of time to share the moral reason why when he is older.

Don’t offer choices … choices complicate things at this stage in parenting toddlers. So don’t offer him choices. This includes clothes, colors, foods, etc. Save the battles for later.

Don’t let media dictate your child’s behavior … just because a tv show or media game is labeled “for kids” doesn’t always mean it’s best. As you parent your toddler, remember to pay attention to what you let her watch or games you let her play. She will imitate what she watches.

Don’t compare your child to others … each child learns to obey at his own pace. Some learn quickly, while others have a more challenging temperament. Be patient and consistent. Obedience and development will come.

toddler-grabbing-apple

The Do’s of Parenting Toddlers

Make time in God’s Word your priority.

Parenting toddlers is hard. And I know that finding alone time to be with God can seem impossible many days. But I promise, making time to be in God’s Word each day is a worthwhile investment for your children. If you can wake up FOR your kids, you won’t wake up TO them. And your whole day will change. Hello Mornings is a great place to start!

time in God's word

Find a Titus 2 woman.

If at all possible, find yourself a mentor—a Titus 2 woman—who can walk with you as you parent toddlers. I would encourage you to broaden your definition of “older woman.” While those women who have graduated multiple children are a wealth of knowledge, they have forgotten a LOT of what happens in the trenches of toddlerhood.

Instead, find a mom with multiple children who are late elementary or middle school. These moms have toddlerhood fresh on their minds. Trust me!

Find grace.

When I first had children, there was one thing I was SURE of. My children would obey. The first time. Period. Over the years, I have learned that this is a ridiculous expectation. Do I obey the first time every time? (God is shaking His head furiously right now.)

If I can’t meet that expectation as an adult, then I can’t have that expectation as I parent toddlers. I’m not saying to throw it all out the window and just let them do whatever they want. Be firm and consistent, but know that you must find grace for that sweet little defiant face.

Make a schedule.

If you cringe at the thought of a schedule and you have toddlers, I challenge you to consider trying it. Toddlers thrive on structure. They should get up at roughly the same time, take a nap at roughly the same time, and have meals at roughly the same time. This type of consistency helps them feel secure.

Give instructions, not options.

Remember, you are the mom. Don’t ask your child what she wants to do. Give instruction for what you want her to do. If you ask her if she wants to go to bed, do you honestly think she will ever say yes? Your question indicates to her that it’s an option, and it isn’t. The same thing goes for “OK.” Don’t put that on the end of your instructions. “Get in the car, OK?” is a choice. But you aren’t offering a choice. You want her in the car. So state that.

give instructions

Expect obedience.

When you ask your child to do something or to stop doing something, ask only once. Don’t count to three. Don’t threaten, “If you do that one more time, I’m going to ….” Simply state your command one time. IF the child is disobedient, move directly to corrective discipline. Otherwise, you make yourself a liar, and that reputation will stick.

Fight disobedience with consistency.

Most offenses by a toddler involve the hands. These are new tools that he is just starting to understand. Discipline remains the same regardless of circumstances. If he takes a friend’s toy, pushes a sibling, or touches the TV remote, squeeze his hand and say “no.” If that doesn’t stop the behavior, remove him from the room.

For example, if he touches something he shouldn’t:

1st offense—make eye contact and say “no.”

2nd offense—squeeze his hand and say “no.”

3rd offense—remove the child to his crib or a high chair in another room.

fight disobedience

Teach them to say, “Yes, Mom.”

I start this really early with parenting toddlers. If Baby is doing something naughty, I tell him “no,” remove him from the situation and say “Yes, Mom” while showing him obedience. Once he is about 18 months old, I first say “no” and then coax him to obedience while saying, “Yes, Mom.” If he doesn’t comply, pick him up and show him obedience while saying, “Yes, Mom.” (If he goes back to the problem area, then I would confine him in the high chair or pack ‘n play.)

parenting toddler

Set boundaries.

Speaking of confining, the best thing you can do for yourself with parenting a toddler is to set boundaries during the day. Have a time set aside for “high chair” time and put him in it while you clean the kitchen or pay the bills.

Have a “room time” where your tot stays in his crib (lights on, with toys) to play. This frees you up to get a shower or brush your teeth with the assurance that he is safe. It also makes him more compliant in the grocery cart, doctor’s office, or anywhere else where he cannot run free.

Yes, he may cry at first, but it won’t hurt him to learn that sometimes we have to sit still or stay in one place. More on room time here.

Learn to ignore tantrums.

Unless your child is hurting someone, let her throw a tantrum. Ignore it. Walk away. Do some dishes. Whatever you do, don’t try to problem solve it. Tantrums don’t dignify a response. And this applies to any age.

Keep on doing it.

Be patient. Parenting toddlers takes a LOT of consistency. Don’t expect perfection. In fact, your toddler is probably better at obeying than you think. If you feel discouraged, get a sheet of paper and make tallies for the number of times he obeys each day vs. the number of times he doesn’t. You’ll be surprised at how many times he actually does obey. Look for progress, not perfection. That’s your goal in this phase.

Get more tips here —→ How to help kids obey

Get some great resources.

It can be hard to find parenting books with specifics for dealing with toddlers. So often they are geared toward older kids, or they are simply too generic to be of help. My favorite practical book for this stage is On Becoming Toddler Wise, and On Becoming Preschool Wise for the preschool years. I also love Mom’s Notes by Carla Link. Both are full of very practical advice for specific situations that arise in toddlerhood. Don’t Make Me Count to Three is so encouraging and equipping in the early years. In addition, Chronicles of a Babywise Mom is an excellent online resource for practical ways to help your toddler.

Be encouraged

Sweet mom, if you don’t hear anything else in this post, I want you to know this about parenting your toddler: God has given you this precious child. You cannot mess him up, because God’s love for him fills the gaps of your failures. We all fail, but in God’s grace, every single one of our children is held in His hands.

Do you have tips for parenting toddlers? Burning questions that I didn’t answer? Please share! 

More Resources

Looking for a way to start teaching your toddler to pray? You will love our JOY prayer cards. They will teach your toddlers a simple but effective way to pray. Click the image below for all the details.

kids gift ideas
kim sorgius
Kim Sorgius

Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.

Comments

  1. Theresa says

    January 10 at 3:57 pm

    Thanks for the encouragement! I’m glad I found this article (made me cry) because my twins (one boy/one girl) are wearing me down. They are two and it has been an exhaustive two months. Structure has been something I have strived at and right now…I need grace…

    Reply
    • Solange says

      February 9 at 11:34 pm

      I also have twins 2.5 years old boys, and I’m soo exhausted. Glad to have found this article. May God give strength to all momma’s of toddlers.

      Reply
  2. Kama says

    January 18 at 8:57 pm

    I can’t tell you how much I needed this post today. I came across it on Pinterest and I cried while reading it. I have a 20 month old little boy, who has really been testing me lately. He’s very good when we’re out and about. In fact, I frequently get complimented on how well he behaves. However, when we are at home, just the two of us, he is just impossible. One of my biggest challenges right now is teaching him how to treat our 2 dogs. Thankfully, I have wonderful dogs who tolerate A LOT. He can be very sweet to them and kisses and hugs them, but he tends to not know when they’ve had enough even if I’m telling him that he was good giving them hugs and kisses, but now they’ve had enough. He also loves to make them run which would be fine if making them run didn’t involve running dump trucks over them.

    Reply
    • Elizabeth says

      June 9 at 10:55 pm

      I feel the same, I cried. Sometimes I feel like a failure but I’m trying. It’s just me and my daughter, she’s clinging, seems like I tell her no more and more everyday. She acts like she will do it one way or another. Thanks for posting your comment

      Reply
  3. Kelly says

    February 17 at 10:39 pm

    Over the years I have lost my faithfulness in god, but when I hear people like you spread messages of “love” it really reminds me of the joyfulness and virtuous side of religion- so thank you for that. reading your blog has been truly refreshing!! I have a VERY smart, and consequently very mischievous independent little 28 month old old and a VERY demanding and emotionally exhausting 11 month old right on her heels. Searching for the positivity in all the chaos makes a world of difference. Even just a “can do” attitude with whatever parenting style you choose- they respond very well to confident instructions. I notice when I respond the the “catalyst” I.e. a whole roll of toilet paper jammed in the toilet with hast and malice- she repeats that negative behavior ten fold. I strive to be a positive nurturing mom who doesn’t need to raise her voice or use aggression and fear to parent. Thank you for helping me on my journey! You’re an inspiration 🙂

    Reply
  4. Lauren says

    March 22 at 6:44 pm

    Thank you so much for this! My son is 2.5. Until 3 weeks ago he was a perfect napper (3 hour nap at 1PM every day for over a year). Then he stopped. Every day has been a trial since then, and I needed this encouragement so very badly! Your ideas sound outright brilliant, things I never would have thought of because they’re so different from how you parent older kids.
    When you mentioned how you don’t obey the first time either, an enormous metaphorical light bulb exploded in my head! and your explanation for giving them time in an enclosed space rocked my world. I’d always thought he needed more outside time to run around, but your argument for also including time in a small place was so perfectly logical I can’t believe it never occurred to me. Plus, that means I can take a decent shower! (you know, the kind where you actually wash AND condition your hair!)
    But when you said I won’t totally screw him up because God’s love will fill in the gaps of my failure, my heart just broke. Nothing could be more encouraging, more uplifting, nor more hopeful than being reminded that God is ultimately parenting my child. I am only a tool, and that is absolutely freeing.
    Thank you so much.

    Reply
  5. Robyn says

    March 26 at 5:21 am

    Amazing how posts like this can be found just when you need it most. I am currently 22 weeks preggers with kiddo # 2, our daughter is 27 months old and lately she has been acting out terribly to the point that I’ve actually become an ugly mommy and have hated the way I am around her. Hubby and I were at each others throats last night in terms of disciplining her and we’ve both realised our respective approaches haven’t been working too well. I’ve now printed this blog post and I’m going to read it with him tonight. Such simple and logical ideas which I can see working. At least I hope they will, don’t think I can handle a tantrum-y toddler plus a new born 🙂 Really great read and much appreciated

    Reply
  6. Nannette says

    March 30 at 5:55 pm

    Thank you! I have a 2.5 yo and 4 month old. My toddler was always so compliant before our second darter was born. Now I find myself always full of anger and empty of patience. My older daughter knows there has been a change and has to share my time, attention, and energy, so she gets it however she can. Usually a negative response. I find myself begging for forgiveness nightly when the girls are in bed and apologizing to my toddler often for losing my patience, very humbling.

    Reply
  7. Kathie Morrissey says

    April 30 at 2:22 pm

    What a great post! Very practical tips, and encouragement for struggling moms. And don’t we all have our struggles?! I would love for you to post this on my Tuesday Link up party so my readers can enjoy it.
    http://courtshipconnection.com/?p=4615

    Reply
  8. jenna says

    May 17 at 12:49 pm

    This article is beautifully written and provides some great ideas to use during these trying years! I just wanted to add that after talking with a good friend of mine who is a child psychologist, he warned me on the repercussions of using a high chair or bed as a time away spot! He mentioned you should never make a child feel trapped which can create fear and anxiety. A bed should be a calm soothing place for a child to feel safe and secure to sleep. Even adults are supposed to only use beds as a place to sleep and….well you know :). Negative association with a bed creates sleep problems. The same is true for a high chair, it should be used in a positive manner to ensure happyand healthy eating habits

    Reply
    • jenna says

      May 17 at 1:00 pm

      (It posted before I finished) His suggestion was to purchase a bean bag, special comfy chair or even a small child size tent. Put a basket with a calm down jar, blanket and a stress ball and put the child in this spot as a calm down area away from everyone else. When the are calm and feel they are ready to rejoin the activity they may do so. By following this procedure you are allowing the child to feel in control…which is often why most battles occur and teaching self regulation! You will find that at first your child will not stay there…this will be very trying for a day or two…just keep taking him or her back and say you may come back when you are calm the first time, then say nothing each time after that. They will eventually stay there…just be her consistent. You might be surprised that after a few days some children learn to go to the calm down spot on their own!! I’m really excited yo implement some of the wonderful ideas here. Thanks for a great post!

      Reply
  9. amber says

    May 19 at 9:23 pm

    I found your post at just the right moment. Lying in bed feeling utterly drained nd such a failure…. I have a 2 and 6 year old. Always fighting and never listening. Typical siblings and because im a “work at home mom” my voice usually isnttheard unless im yelling 🙁 your ideas are awesome an i plan on using them… all of them! I do have a question for you…. i keep children in my home and recently ive been catching the little boy (5) playing with himself. I know this is completly normal behavior….espfor a boy BUT im not entirley happy with the way his mom tolddm she handles thus at home. When i told her about it she said she has gad a conversation with himabiut ut and has told him that he can only do that in private in his room with the door shut. I am really struggling with this. I dont have boys but i really feel like i wouldnt tell my 5 year old that thats ok to do just shut the door….. :/ im looking for a christian opinion on this from a mother with a son.

    Reply
    • amber says

      May 19 at 9:27 pm

      So sorry for all the mistypes! Been a long day and im using the nook…. not very good at this:)

      Reply
      • Kim Sorgius says

        May 19 at 9:58 pm

        Amber,
        I would encourage you to read Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young. You can get it here…http://www.raisingrealmen.com/orders/

        Hal and Melanie are parents to 6 boys and I LOVE their perspective on this and many other issues that mother’s of boys face.

        Reply
  10. Jenn says

    June 8 at 3:48 pm

    We taught my 2-year-old to say “yes mommy/daddy” when we give him an instruction, and when he remembers to do it by himself, it’s one of the cutest things he does. We praise him and give him big smiles when he remembers to do it himself, and he beams.

    And I read something really interesting about tantrums recently. I don’t have the link, but I bet a Google search would find it. It was an article about what scientists learned about tantrums (and what many parents and teachers most likely already know!): Tantrums have distinct phases. Phase one is anger, and there’s not much (constructive, at least) an adult can do to stop the fit at this point, other than be sure the child isn’t hurting himself or anything/anyone else. The second phase is sadness, and this is the phase where the parent can step in quickly and comfort the sad child. Most children are not in a “teaching moment” when they are angry, but they are more likely to actually hear and listen when they are being comforted by a gentle, firm, loving parent after their anger has passed.

    We use this in my house by having time outs in cribs when a toddler has lost touch with sanity. This gives them a safe place to deal with their anger, and mom or dad asks them if they are ready to do the correct behavior: show their sibling nice hands after hitting, use a nice voice after yelling in anger, or picking up a toy that was thrown. If they’re not ready, they say no, and spend a few more moments being angry. After a few mom/dad check-ins, they say yes, and easily and happily “do what they are supposed to do” without having an attitude. This lets them be in charge of themselves, and do the right thing when they are ready to have a good attitude about it. Every kid is different, but this is what works for us so far!

    Reply
  11. Hannah says

    July 19 at 10:43 am

    Omg, that’s totally where i am now! 3 1/2, 13 mo, and due in 2 1/2 mo…I am at my wits end. My 3 yr old has really increased her defiance lately, and little man shreaks/screams for EVERYTHING. I’m mentally exhausted.

    I’m all for room/crib time. But my son doesn’t talk yet so I’m not sure how to gauge how much he’s understanding.

    Reply
  12. Stephanie says

    July 20 at 4:55 pm

    I’m so thankful the Lord set me “stumble” upon your site. I’m in my early 40’s. My husband and I weren’t able to have children and felt led to be foster parents. To put a very long story short, we now have four children ages 1, 2, 3, and 4 (sibling group). When went from zero to four children in less than a year. We’ve now had the oldest three for 2 years now; the youngest came to us straight from the hospital. We hope to adopt them, but it’s looking more apparent they will go back to their mother.

    Up until this month, my husband and I both worked full-time; I am now staying home full-time (having two full-time “jobs” was killing me). I knew the adjustment would be a process, especially for the kids since they have been in a wonderful daycare the last two years. But I’m having a hard time figuring out a good schedule that works for all of them, especially since the 4 year old easily becomes bored. Living in Oklahoma, July/August are HOT, so outside isn’t always an option. Anyway, I’ve been feeling almost overwhelmed and feeling like the biggest screw up of a parent in the world. The Lord has used your words to calm my spirits a bit. Thank you.

    Reply
  13. Stacey says

    October 18 at 2:24 pm

    Hi, thank you for this post! I’m a daycare provider of infants, toddlers, and a preschooler. Lately the toddlers have been driving me bonkers! The older one (18 months) is being sneaky waiting for me to turn my back and then she does something I just told her not to do. She tackles the other toddler (17 months) from behind and when he’s on the floor she tries to bite his back if I don’t pull her off first! Or she’ll climb on things I repeatedly told her not to, redirect her and show her what she can climb on (the playhouse), but she keeps doing what I’ve told her not to climb on and then she gets hurt but continues to do it! Or they’ll both sneak into the lockers (which they know is a no-no) or the bathroom to pull out diapers from the cabinet and I constantly tell them to stay out and redirect them either by giving them stuff to play with, taking a walk, timeout or finally naptime! I know they learn from consistency and repetition, but how to I get them to mind and behave? I’ve tried smiling and telling them in a nice voice but I get so frustrated. I’ve tried the highchair and the playpen but she tries to climb out of the highchair! I tell them over and over we can’t do _______ because they’ll get hurt or it’s not nice… but they can do _______ and I don’t think they’re being teachable. That’s something I keep praying is that they’ll be teachable and I’ll have wisdom, but my love tank is depleting!

    Reply
  14. jelli says

    March 7 at 10:18 am

    Your 1st two paragraphs are my life story. I can totally relate to this and am so happy to find another mama who “gets” it! THANK YOU.

    Reply
  15. Sylvie says

    April 5 at 9:12 am

    I agree with most of your comments. In my life, I turn to the Lord to be guided on how to be a mom. It is important to understand that we need to take into consideration that every child is different. Our oldest one is very verbal. She needs to talk and be explained things. But the youngest one needs to be told what to do because she becomes a brat if you let her out of control.

    I have a concern with the “Yes mom” thing. I want to make sure that my daughters can say no to someone who might want to do them harm. I believe that teaching critical thinking instead of blind obedience is critical in the world we leave in.

    Reply
  16. MrsP says

    June 7 at 12:25 am

    I found your post much later than everyone else but I needed it so badly today. I’m an adoptive mom and a foster mom of 3 siblings: almost 3, almost 2, and 8 months (they’re all 13 months apart). I struggle so greatly with my insecurities about parenting them the right way and “making up” for the deficiencies of their biology. I constantly feel like I’m losing the battle.

    They used to sleep very well but now it’s summertime in the northern mountains and they’ve decided they don’t need to sleep at all. I can’t keep up with them. I’m tense and angry and tired. It’s hours of fighting them to go to sleep. Hours of fighting them for naps. Dread when I hear their cries in the morning. I try to be a fun mom but it just ends up being more work and more stress for me. I don’t know how to love them like I should.

    A friend pointed out to me recently that 3 years ago, I was crying because I didn’t have any babies. Now I’m crying because I have too many.

    Reply
    • Kim Sorgius says

      June 7 at 7:08 am

      Oh friend, I’m praying for the challenges you face! Parenting those little so close to together is hard! Mine are almost that close, so I get it. These days will be exhausting and no doubt they will bring tears. But with God’s strength, you will indeed get through it. And sometimes you’ll even miss it. Keep being as consistent as you can and stay on your knees!

      Reply
  17. Becca says

    September 27 at 2:46 pm

    Hi Kim, wondering if you have any advice for talking back? I have a usually very sweet and very helpful just turned 4 year old girl, but running into some problems with disrespect and backtalk. Usually it happens when she gets frustrated at something (it can be anything-as simple as the fact that we are going home after pre-k and not somewhere “Fun”, or her getting upset that I disciplined the dog for running in the road), or I have told her “No” to something, and she has either told me “I don’t like you” etc in a very nasty voice and mean looks. I tend to just have her go in her room because when she gets in one of those moods she can usually go cool off there and after her “timeout” is usually fine the rest of the day. These are def. more frequent since starting pre-k, we hadn’t really had to use a timeout except very rarely all summer, now I would say maybe 3 a week at least. Then I go in and have her tell me what she did that wasn’t ok, and say sorry and re-explain to her about being kind to each other and using kind words, etc. What else would be a logical consequence?? Thanks!!

    Reply
    • Kim Sorgius says

      September 28 at 1:45 pm

      My first thought would be that I would be sure and tell her that it is rude and disrespectful to talk to an adult that way. It’s unkind to talk to another kid that way. There is a slight difference. I think this is important to point out because sometimes children don’t understand the difference. Neither is ok, for sure. But it’s is absolutely disrespectful to talk to an adult that way.

      As far as consequences go, a time out isn’t far off from being logical for this. You might just say, “since you can not treat me with respect, you will not be able to be with me.” I would also note that if this is happening when she comes home from preschool, she might really need a little time alone to unwind. Some kids are like that. A few other options might be to have her say 5 kind things every time she says something unkind. However, at 4, that will be difficult for her to think of on her own. You’ll probably have to tell her kind things that she could say. I have also on rare occasion flicked the cheek of a youngster that couldn’t control their words. I don’t do it hard- the goal isn’t to hurt the child. Just enough for them to stop and think about what they are saying (this works well with a child who is throwing a fit in public).

      Be encouraged my friend, it gets a little easier to talk about these things. In the next year, you will see a big difference!

      Reply
  18. Cara says

    February 8 at 2:18 pm

    I have trouble finding consequences to give my 3 year old. He either doesn’t seem to care about any consequences I give or if he does then he just screams and throws things and bangs all over the house. I have tried putting him in his room and told him if he is yelling and screaming he is to be in his room (and accepted to myself that he will throw things in and bang around his room) but he either won’t stay in his room or will open and slam the door repeatedly. I try to walk away from the tantrum and ignore it. I hope this is the right thing to do. He often will follow me down the stairs refusing to be in his room. He wants control. I have gotten a lot better at not reacting and being consistent but I just feel like I am walking on eggshells with him all day long and I am tired of saying the same thing hundreds of times and fighting with him every step of the day. How do you deal with outright defiance and rudeness especially when not at home? Meal time especially is a battle. For one, stopping to wash hands and sit and eat interrupts what he wants to be doing and even if he’s on board with eating he gets out of his chair repeatedly or plays with his hands or utensils resulting in an hour long dinner time most days. I have a rule if he gets out of his chair I will take the plate away but this is a daily battle. I want him to eat enough and not waste food. He can be the most pleasant person to be around or he can just be outright rude and defiant to everyone around him. Any suggestions are appreciated.

    Reply
  19. Holly says

    March 25 at 8:21 pm

    I have 3 children now 4, 3 and 19 months. All three of my children are very different. My oldest is by far my best behaved, but she is the most logical. When she does something I can reason with her and explain why we don’t do something. She’s been like this since she was about 18 months. My second is my problem child, the wild child. People tell me it’s normal with boys.

    One of the things I’ve learned so far is consistency is very important. If you set a house rule follow it no matter what. If the rule breaker did something accidently, it still needs to be addressed, even if only to explain why they are not getting punished this time. It keeps them from getting confused. Another thing I do when talking to my toddler about their acrions is to be face to face. I crouch down to their level and insist they look me at me. If they refuse, then I come back when they are ready to listen. Next I make them repeat what I say, to the best of their ability. I keep it simple, “no hitting. OK.” She needs repeat no hitting and say to say, “OK, mommy.” it helps improve their speech, so double bonus!

    Reply
  20. Carla Link says

    June 14 at 10:36 pm

    Thanks Kim for mentioning the Mom’s Notes. We a couple that are good for parents of toddlers, The 2-part “Structuring Your Child’s Day” and “Training Toddlers”. They are available on MP3, PDF, CD and Notes now. We are glad we have been a helpful resource to you!

    Reply
    • Carla Link says

      June 14 at 10:39 pm

      I should have re-read this. Sorry! The second sentence should say There are a couple Mom’s Notes presentations that are good for parents of toddlers.

      Reply
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Here’s What Others Are Saying about Not Consumed

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Ferne Downs

Fabulous, heart-felt resources for parents!

Thank you, Kim, for continuing to offer such fabulous and heart-felt resources to us parents! I was not raised in a Christian home and feel like I’m floundering in the dark trying to raise my children to know and love the Lord. Your emails and bible studies are my lifeline! You should write a parenting manual!

May God continue to bless you and your family abundantly!

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Cathy, homeschool mom of 2

Bible Studies are Incredible!

I just ordered and am in the process of printing out so many of your amazing resources and I can't wait to get started! Your bible studies are incredible and so thoughtful, your planner is wonderfully laid out and your breakfast and lunch stations will save me so much time!! I don't know how you do it all, but I'm thankful you do!

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Paige L.

Lasting Impression on My Entire Family

I wanted to write to encourage you and say, "THANK YOU!" I've been following your blog for years, and you have made such a lasting impression on my entire family. We've purchased many of your Bible Studies and a few other wonderful homeschooling resources, all of which we absolutely love!!! Still, I believe the greatest compliment I can give you is that because of your Bible Studies that my children and I have completed together, my oldest daughter has been so inspired, she's started creating her own daily devotionals, modeled after the ones you've made. They are absolutely precious (in her own little 12-year old way), and she prints one off each morning for our entire family to complete during our quiet time. When she finishes her first "study" (which is on the Fruits of the Spirit by the way), she plans to print a set to hand out to her small group at church. To see my daughter take ownership of her faith in this way and to bless others with a deeper study of God's Word is a precious gift to me, and I can't thank you enough for your inspiration and positive influence!

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Christi, single homeschooling mom of 7

Life-giving Words

What an encouragement your words have been to me! The practical tips and realistic systems that you share are so super helpful, but what I have appreciated the most has been your genuine heart for the Lord and for the things of the Lord. What I sense through your words is a heart submitted to the Lord, clinging to Him instead of to bitterness. Walking a path that you never signed up for, painfully aware of your brokenness and inadequacies, but keeping your eyes focused on the only Giver of Life. You have a testimony of victory, of overcoming, Kim. Your life-giving words boast of the faithfulness of a God who hears and sees and knows and provides and comforts. A God who doesn't change.

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Laura, homeschooling mom of 6

Love everything you do!

As far as the other things, I LOVE my brothers keeper and we've done it twice over the past year or two. I recommend it all the time on so many groups online. I type notconsumed.com almost daily somewhere on something. At times I will come across another resource you have created and it's like you are in my head. So much of what you create is exactly what I want but am not techy enough to do! I had googled a checklist for homeschooling recently and yours popped up. It was exactly the simple thing I wanted. I told my husband that you "get me" when I found it. :) I ended up buying it then hearing about the course and did that too. Even as a veteran homeschool mom I learned a few things from your course. I really love how you foster independence in your kids in stages. Again, exactly what I want to do!

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Noel M.

Positive Impact in My Life

I've been following your blog for a couple years and I have enjoyed participating in your free bible studies/devotions as well as those I've purchased from you. I just wanted to let you know that you've made such a positive impact in my spiritual and home school life, as well as support and encouragement for motherhood. Thank you for being such a blessing to so many moms.

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Kimberley

You're in my head, sister!

I just wanted you to know that I LOVE your blog. I can’t tell you how much the homeschooling posts have meant to me. It’s like you’re in my head, sister!! Thank you so much for taking the time in your busy life to minister to struggling moms and making me feel as if I’m not alone.

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Tara, single homeschooling mom

Brings courage to my heart!

I want to thank you for your transparency and dedication to blessing families with resources. Thank you for the life giving words that I read over and over. I cling to the hope I see in your story. Not only did you help me work through things that had happened, you prepared me for a situation that could have consumed me. God used your encouragement to strengthen me. I was so beaten down, discouraged, and tired from the long and difficult path I had been walking. It was a refreshing rain in the middle of a weary road, and it made me hope for a future that is victorious.

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Brittany, mom of 2

Like Being With a Girlfriend

Thanks for sharing a piece of your family. Your blog is, honestly, the only one I have ever subscribed to. I feel like I'm on the phone with a girlfriend every time I read your words. I love it! I often find myself spending hours clicking from one post to the next telling myself, "okay, one more and then go to bed!" It's all just so helpful!

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Julianne

My daughter loves it all!

I just want to write and let you know that my 13-year-old daughter loves, love, loves everything I have ever ordered from you and says that she wants your entire inventory of bible studies for her next birthday!

Thank you for making a positive difference in our lives!

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Sheryl

Monthly Scripture Pages

Thank you for creating the monthly Scripture pages... especially the KJV one! It's the only Bible I use and hardly any bloggers use it on their stuff. I also really appreciate the products that you provide. I really appreciate the insights, laughter, and thoughtfulness put into your blog, emails, Facebook posts, etc.

Want to share how you’ve been blessed by Not Consumed ministries?



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