Click here for the secret to becoming not consumed.
  • WELCOME
  • STORE
  • PRINTABLES
  • SPEAKING
  • BLOG
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • YouTube

Not Consumed

Spiritual Growth » Struggles » the scarlet letter {my story part II}

the scarlet letter {my story part II}

May 23 By Kim Sorgius 8 Comments

23 May

Read Part I…Purple Slippers

The year is 1642. A young woman is led from the town prison of a small Puritan village. In her arms, she carries an infant and on her heart she wears a scarlet letter “A.” Her head hangs low in disgrace.

I clearly remember reading this tale in high school. Hawthorne’s words danced in my soul, causing great conflict between deep feelings of compassion and the great need for justice. Part of me wanted the people to forgive Hester and part of me knew that rules must be followed.

I wasn’t alive in 1642 and I had never seen anyone wearing a scarlet letter, but I was highly motivated by its implications. I walked the halls of high school looking for ways to do that which was right. I listened to youth leaders, I drew lines, and I carefully orchestrated my relationships.

But somewhere between senior prom and the freshly painted walls of a dorm room, the lines began to fade. All I really wanted was to be loved. And yes, I was looking in all the wrong places. From the Frat house to the biology lab, everyone was a potential date and I enjoyed the attention.

Like most college students, I did things that I’m not sure I would repeat to anyone. Things that often leave me in awe of how God protected me despite my obvious lack of interest in Him. You see, I had grown up in the church, attended weekly for years, but God just wasn’t working for me. So, I cut Him out. Sort of. While I was living a bit of a “wild” life, there were still deep roots in me planted by pastors, Sunday School teachers and grandmothers who likely thought their words were left unheard. These roots kept me from going completely off the deep end, but they didn’t protect me from the consequences of my ridiculous actions.

By my senior year, I had met a guy who cared enough to talk about marriage. I jumped at the idea, having no clue that satisfying my desire for love would be dead wrong.

We had an adorable little church wedding, packed up our inherited station wagon and headed 24 hours north where he would attend seminary. It was winter in so many ways. The trees were barren and our home was empty. Finding a teaching job was harder than I had planned and college was more demanding than my young wife’s heart desired.

Before our first anniversary, he had entangled himself in the snare of an affair. Although my entire body could scarcely move, I never ONCE thought about a divorce. I would forgive and we would work through this. Another winter fell heavy on our home and before the buds of spring could surface, he was gone. With him, he took everything of value. Every ounce of security, every hope of being loved, and every prayer of living the American dream.

He left brokenness, despair, fear, and a huge hatred of God. To me, God had a bunch of rules and subsequent blessings. I had followed the rules. I married a christian whose parents were on the board of their church. He was even attending seminary. But following the rules didn’t spring forth a well of blessing. Instead I sat in a heap of despair, rejected and abandoned.

He was granted a divorce, and within 30 days I was forced to give his name back. In exchange I got a scarlet letter. Not the letter “A” like Hester, but the letter “D.” For in my mind, divorce was the unforgivable sin. Or at the very least, it would keep any good man from ever being able to truly love me. After all, I was used. This letter “D” was an obvious sign to all.

I wore the letter in complete disgrace, although I was too ashamed to ever admit my marital status to anyone. Wherever I went, I could feel the stares as people judged me. I was convinced that this mark on my life would never be erased. So I determined to defeat it. I lived the high life with little regard for the feelings of men or God. I would date and dump because it felt good to be in control.

All the while, a loving grandmother was praying me home. One day I responded to her pleas that I find a church. I got lost in a very big church with hundreds of singles. I was happy being a nobody is a sea of faces while I played games with people’s hearts on the side. I had no idea that this tiny step of obedience to God would be the catalyst for a huge turn of events.

About a year later, a man walked into that singles group and changed my life. He wasn’t just another face. He was a man who adored me, one who knew about my scarlet letter and cared enough to break past the Great Wall that I had built. He captivated my heart. And although I had vowed never to marry again, within an instant, all of that was a distant memory.

 

Read the rest of the story here..

he left {part III}

 

 

photo credit

Comments

  1. Kjchase says

    May 23 at 7:40 am

    I love it that when we make one small move toward God, He reaches out His hand and draws us to Him.  Thank You for sharing your story.
    Almost everybody I know feels like they ahve a big DQ tatooed on their forehead.  Not for Dairy Queen, but for DISQUALIFIED.  God could never use me, I’ve been divorced, promiscuous,  in jail.  I’m not good enough, my life is not a good “Christian”example.
    I thank my God, that He uses broken, wounded, damaged people to tell their stories, and to minister to others who are broken, wounded and damaged.

    Reply
    • Kim Sorgius says

      May 23 at 7:41 am

      Preach it, girl!

      Reply
  2. Kara @ Just1Step says

    May 23 at 9:19 am

    Enjoying your story!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Reader Favorites

Want help cultivating sibling relationships? Check out these resources. Helping kids develop devotional habits Want some help planning your homeschool year?

Want to start a blog?

  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Disclaimer Policy
  • Terms of Service

Positive Impact in My Life

I've been following your blog for a couple years and I have enjoyed participating in your free bible studies/devotions as well as those I've purchased from you. I just wanted to let you know that you've made such a positive impact in my spiritual and home school life, as well as support and encouragement for motherhood. Thank you for being such a blessing to so many moms.

Noel M.

2018-07-02T16:49:39-05:00

Noel M.

I've been following your blog for a couple years and I have enjoyed participating in your free bible studies/devotions as well as those I've purchased from you. I just wanted to let you know that you've made such a positive impact in my spiritual and home school life, as well as support and encouragement for motherhood. Thank you for being such a blessing to so many moms.
https://www.notconsumed.com/testimonials/positive-impact-in-my-life/

You’re in my head, sister!

I just wanted you to know that I LOVE your blog. I can’t tell you how much the homeschooling posts have meant to me. It’s like you’re in my head, sister!! Thank you so much for taking the time in your busy life to minister to struggling moms and making me feel as if I’m not alone.

Kimberley

2018-07-02T16:56:07-05:00

Kimberley

I just wanted you to know that I LOVE your blog. I can’t tell you how much the homeschooling posts have meant to me. It’s like you’re in my head, sister!! Thank you so much for taking the time in your busy life to minister to struggling moms and making me feel as if I’m not alone.
https://www.notconsumed.com/testimonials/youre-in-my-head-sister/

Life-giving Words



What an encouragement your words have been to me! The practical tips and realistic systems that you share are so super helpful, but what I have appreciated the most has been your genuine heart for the Lord and for the things of the Lord. What I sense through your words is a heart submitted to the Lord, clinging to Him instead of to bitterness. Walking a path that you never signed up for, painfully aware of your brokenness and inadequacies, but keeping your eyes focused on the only Giver of Life. You have a testimony of victory, of overcoming, Kim. Your life-giving words boast of the faithfulness of a God who hears and sees and knows and provides and comforts. A God who doesn't change.


Christi, single homeschooling mom of 7

2018-07-02T17:36:15-05:00

Christi, single homeschooling mom of 7

What an encouragement your words have been to me! The practical tips and realistic systems that you share are so super helpful, but what I have appreciated the most has been your genuine heart for the Lord and for the things of the Lord. What I sense through your words is a heart submitted to the Lord, clinging to Him instead of to bitterness. Walking a path that you never signed up for, painfully aware of your brokenness and inadequacies, but keeping your eyes focused on the only Giver of Life. You have a testimony of victory, of overcoming, Kim. Your life-giving words boast of the faithfulness of a God who hears and sees and knows and provides and comforts. A God who doesn't change.
https://www.notconsumed.com/testimonials/practical-tips-and-realistic-systems/

Brings courage to my heart

I want to thank you for your transparency and dedication to blessing families with resources. Thank you for the life giving words that I read over and over. I cling to the hope I see in your story. Not only did you help me work through things that had happened, you prepared me for a situation that could have consumed me. God used your encouragement to strengthen me. I was so beaten down, discouraged, and tired from the long and difficult path I had been walking. It was a refreshing rain in the middle of a weary road, and it made me hope for a future that is victorious.

Tara, single homeschooling mom

2018-07-02T17:46:27-05:00

Tara, single homeschooling mom

I want to thank you for your transparency and dedication to blessing families with resources. Thank you for the life giving words that I read over and over. I cling to the hope I see in your story. Not only did you help me work through things that had happened, you prepared me for a situation that could have consumed me. God used your encouragement to strengthen me. I was so beaten down, discouraged, and tired from the long and difficult path I had been walking. It was a refreshing rain in the middle of a weary road, and it made me hope for a future that is victorious.
https://www.notconsumed.com/testimonials/brings-courage-to-my-heart/

Love everything you do!

As far as the other things, I LOVE my brothers keeper and we've done it twice over the past year or two. I recommend it all the time on so many groups online. I type notconsumed.com almost daily somewhere on something. At times I will come across another resource you have created and it's like you are in my head. So much of what you create is exactly what I want but am not techy enough to do! I had googled a checklist for homeschooling recently and yours popped up. It was exactly the simple thing I wanted. I told my husband that you "get me" when I found it. :) I ended up buying it then hearing about the course and did that too. Even as a veteran homeschool mom I learned a few things from your course. I really love how you foster independence in your kids in stages. Again, exactly what I want to do!

Laura, homeschooling mom of 6

2018-07-02T18:04:06-05:00

Laura, homeschooling mom of 6

As far as the other things, I LOVE my brothers keeper and we've done it twice over the past year or two. I recommend it all the time on so many groups online. I type notconsumed.com almost daily somewhere on something. At times I will come across another resource you have created and it's like you are in my head. So much of what you create is exactly what I want but am not techy enough to do! I had googled a checklist for homeschooling recently and yours popped up. It was exactly the simple thing I wanted. I told my husband that you "get me" when I found it. :) I ended up buying it then hearing about the course and did that too. Even as a veteran homeschool mom I learned a few things from your course. I really love how you foster independence in your kids in stages. Again, exactly what I want to do!
https://www.notconsumed.com/testimonials/love-everything-you-do/


OUR MINISTRY

About Kim
What We Believe
FAQ
How to Blog


GET CONNECTED

Contact Us
Join the Community
Visit our Blog
Get our Free Printables

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube

WAYS TO HELP

Donate
Shop
Hire Kim to Speak
Affiliates

Copyright © 2019 · Not Consumed.

Not Consumed® is fully trademarked by Not Consumed Ministries, LLC.

All Rights Reserved.

Site Design by Visibilia Media

random acts of christmas kindness

Don't leave empty-handed!

​Grab our 

Random Acts of Christmas

Kindness Printables!

x