Why Christian Parents Shouldn’t Censor Everything
I had lunch with a friend the other day and was telling her how much the kids and I enjoyed the audio story Jessica’s Journey. She furrowed her eyebrows at me and said, “You really let your kids listen to that?”
For a second I had to think about what would make her say something like that. A thought finally came to mind and I questioned her to confirm. “Is your concern over the drunk mother in the story?” She nodded and my heart sank. You see the story is about a young girl beaten and abused by her drunk mother. In the story this precious little girl comes to know Jesus and her faith rocks the whole community.
Since you read this blog, you probably already know that I’m not one to stay quiet when I know something must be said. That day was no different. I told my friend that I knew of the content before listening to it and that, yes, I let the kids listen. Actually, I very much wanted them to. You see, if there is anything in life I’ve learned, it’s that we have just a short time to teach our kids to grasp real faith in God. We have just a few years to help them navigate this faith in a wretched and wicked world.
There is a lot of very ugly content out there in books, movies, tv, even homeschool curriculum (yes, I said that). We do need to be very careful about what we bring into our homes, as this is our primary responsibility as the parent. However, we can’t censor it all. If we do, our kids will never know what to do with the world. They will leave our homes with little or maybe even no faith at all.
So what do we, as Christian moms, do with questionable content? Trust me, there is a reasonable answer to that question. One that will make you feel at ease over this, so do read on my friend. We’ve got some options here.
Option #1: Don’t read or watch this content.
Not rocket science, huh? Sometimes there is material out there we simply don’t ever want to put into the minds of our children. I’ve had homeschool curriculum in this category (such as a very popular history curriculum written from a totally pagan world view). I’ve also had books, movies, and other media we completely skip (like say Cars 2 and it’s “sexy” James Bond theme).
Generally speaking, if there is no redeemable quality or purpose in the material, I’m not likely to share it with my kids.
It’s true, there are times when censorship is the best option. However, all too often, this is the ONLY option we pick. We believe we are doing the right thing, but in turn we are hurting our kids. Sometimes the material has great value and life lessons we truly don’t want our kids to miss. So, what can we do with it?
Option #2: Skip a part or take a black marker and remove it.
I have a dear friend back in North Carolina who was awesome at this. I can’t tell you how often I opened books in her house and found a black marker through the part that said evolution was true or where someone used ugly language. Personally, I think this is a great option for younger children. We don’t want false information or harmful facts to be filling their heads until they are old enough to discern truth. That’s why we skip the scary part in Finding Nemo in my house. (Ya know, because this mama likes to sleep at night.)
This is also the reason I didn’t allow my young children to watch tv shows with a moral intention. Even if it was Christian. I saw the plot spending 25 minutes on the awful things (like talking back, hurting others, lying, etc.) and just 2 minutes fixing it, if that. Young kids don’t need any practice talking back or being ugly to others. This model just didn’t cut it for me. So we stuck with totally amoral shows like Little Einsteins, Wonderpets, and science. Since we didn’t watch much tv, this wasn’t really that hard.
Option #3: Make it a teachable moment.
As your kids get older and into the moral reasoning stage (around 7 or so) you are missing valuable teaching opportunities if you are still censoring and/or marking everything out. Take for example the books teaching evolution as fact. If we continue to blot it out, our kids will never learn how to defend their faith, and guess what happens? Someone else will show them why evolution is true. If we didn’t take the time to show them how it’s not true and what evidence supports that, it’s possible they may even believe we lied to them. (If you don’t know how often this happens, please read Already Gone.)
Trust me, as a parent, I’d rather crawl in a hole than deal with some of the stuff we see or hear. Especially when it comes to racial slurs, ugly words, and same-sex marriage (or just sex in general). These are hard topics. But avoiding them is never the answer. If we teach our children the history behind the depravity of man, they can begin to understand our need for a Savior. They can also begin to understand the freedoms we have in this country and why they are so important.
If we teach them how to evaluate the ugly topics in the light of the Word, we’ve given them a tool that will carry them through any doubts they face.
I’m not suggesting we throw all caution to the wind and simply put anything before our eyes. Clearly the Bible teaches against that. First in Psalm 101:3 and then in Philippians 4:8. We must be wise about what is before our eyes and in our mind. But we are also commanded to teach and disciple our children and sometimes media can be a safe way to do this. I mean, we don’t want to take our kids into a bar in an effort to show them the effects of drinking do we?
I kid. But you get the idea. Which brings me back to Jessica’s Journey. Will I let my kids listen to it? Over and over again. Because you see, in the story, the picture of this drunken and abusive mother is ever so clear. The consequences are accurate and the drinking is never exonerated. The mother hurts everyone around her with this behavior and the lesson is SUPER clear… even to little people.
In fact, as we always do, I asked my kids what they learned from the story when it was over. My 8-year-old said, “Drinking doesn’t solve your problems. God does.” Wow. Yes and amen. Need I say more?
Your turn–>
Leave a comment and tell us where you struggle when it comes to this issue. You’ll be surprised how many people are right there with you!
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Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.
Thank you for this blog post. A teachable moment occurred yesterday with my oldest son based on an audio book that I did not censor. He learned in this audio book that Babe Ruth smoked. He had graham cracker dippers that he said were his cigarettes. Unfortunately, I did not respond the best, but I did explain that during this time period that the health effects of cigarettes were not known, but now we know the health impact. In addition, we need to make our own choices and to imitate Christ not others. Wow! This was not easy, but I am glad that I did not censor the audiobook. He needs to understand to make good decisions when faced with many good and bad choices.
That’s awesome. Thanks for sharing.
LOVE:)
Great article, thanks for writing it.
Balance, balance, balance. At younger ages, I shielded my daughter from ALOT. Now, at 12, we discuss more … and explain why we shy away from some content. Having educated her in what is good and what is not helps her to discern for herself.
Phew, alots can really screw up a kid! I’m glad you kept her safe.
Hi – I’m curious which homeschool history curriculum you are referring to (with the pagan worldview). Would you mind emailing me the name of it? I want to make sure I’m not missing something important!! Thank you!
Yes! I completely agree. And we still read our storybooks to younger friends, complete with the black sharpie marks 😉 I definitely continued to edit and preview what my children were exposed to through elementary school and even today as they are middle schoolers. I wish I could read every book they read as a read aloud and conveniently adjust the language used when its inappropriate for no reason. Alas, we are beyond that point in their development and schooling. I still find myself doing it with the books we read as a family. We follow much the same approach of allowing more exposure to moral dilemmas with sound Biblical teaching and discussion. Many people are shocked I let my kids listen to Hamilton, but as a family of history buffs and music lovers we were captivated by the brilliance of this body of work. I was able to edit out the profanity and we skip two of the songs- one that refers to promiscuity and the other that details his affair. They can know he was unfaithful to his wife without needing to hear any details of what happened. This musical has provided countless hours of listening, singing, historical debates and discussions, independent research, history lessons, writing assignments, multi-state field trips, documentaries, and further reading. I hope to continue to teach discernment to my kids while at the same time helping them navigate culture.
This has been an amazing read this morning, just wat I needed, thank you! I struggle with the evolution theory a lot. I believe there is a degree of evolution, we see it every day in the case of animals developing longer ears for better hearing or developing webbed feet for better swimming etc but I do not believe we humans were once monkeys and do believe that we were created in God’s image (which obviously means not as monkeys at any point!) do you have any suggested material to read to assist with this one please? x
I recommend looking into the Answers in Genesis information. Here is a link to their page on evolution. They have many resources to help! https://answersingenesis.org/evolution/