5 Acts of Kindness Toward Your Enemies
Showing kindness to your enemies? God commands it. Here are 5 acts of kindness you can easily do even if you don’t feel like it! Read more.
I’m sure you, like me, have had to break up many a squabble caused by one child feeling justified in hitting or yelling because the other child took something away from them. As adults, most of us have struggled with anger toward someone who has hurt us or even been tempted to take revenge. And even if we don’t physically take revenge, maybe we allow ourselves to be vengeful or unforgiving in our hearts. Let’s be honest—usually, our natural response when someone has hurt us is to hurt them back.
But God tells us something different in Romans 12:19–21:
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Not only should we refuse to take revenge, but we should intentionally do good to those who we would consider our enemies. Though “heaping burning coals” might seem like some kind of righteous revenge, the idea here is actually that our love and kindness would so confuse and frustrate our enemy that the result would be them turning to God—the source of the love we show them!
Of course, we should never let someone continue to harm us or our children in our efforts to do good to them. That’s not what these verses are telling us to do! But we can, when it is safe and wise, still show them kindness.
Loving enemies is tough for adults AND children, but it may be especially difficult for our kids to come up with ways to love their enemies on their own. This is why I want to share with you 5 ways our kids can love their enemies through acts of kindness.
Table of Contents
5 Acts of Kindness Toward Your Enemies
1. Pray for them.
The first and the best place to start is prayer (Matthew 5:44)! When we remind our kids to pause and mention their enemies by name before the throne of our heavenly Father, we are teaching them to ask for His power and wisdom over the situation. His great power and love are unlike anyone else’s. They work at the heart level. They cut right into the heart of a matter and create change from the inside out.
I know that when it comes to praying, it’s sometimes hard for kids AND adults to know where to start. But don’t be discouraged! Our kids’ prayer bundle will help teach your kids what prayer is, why it is important, and how to use it.
For more tips, check out our post on teaching children to pray!
2. Offer a smile or peaceful gesture.
In addition to praying for their enemies, kids can show kindness through actions as simple as a smile or acknowledging nod. Think about it—what better way to extend forgiveness and love to someone from a distance? Maybe it isn’t safe to have a conversation at the time, but kids can still show God’s love through this simple action!
As Romans 5:5 explains, we can show God’s love to others because He has poured His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. As we spend time getting to know God through His Word, that love grows and grows so that it flows out of our hearts and into the lives of others! Written with this goal in mind, our kids’ Bible studies help your children dig into God’s Word every day so they will know God better and grow His love in their hearts. To help you get started, we have a family Bible study on conflict resolution for kids and making peace.
3. Hold the door open for them.
Loving our enemies isn’t just not taking revenge—it’s also intentionally doing good to them! If we were only kind to those who were kind to us, we would not be fulfilling God’s call to love our enemies (Matthew 5:46–47). There’s not much heaping of coals going on when we only show kindness to our friends! Believers are different from the world because we are able to love not only those who are loving toward us but also those who are unkind, rude, or hurtful toward us.
When dealing with an enemy, it can be hard to be intentionally loving while also keeping a safe distance. But holding the door for an enemy is a way to show consideration and kindness without being in-your-face or requiring a response. The enemy to whom your child is trying to show kindness may not even acknowledge this gesture, but it will still set your child apart in their mind as someone who wishes good for them and not evil.
4. Anonymously help with a task.
Showing kindness does not always involve an in-person interaction like a smile or holding the door. There are plenty of ways to serve enemies without them ever knowing who helped them. Kids can mow their enemy’s lawn while he or she is gone or even bring their trashcan back from the road on trash day. Even taking notes for an enemy who is absent in class could spread kindness.
Since helping with some tasks could be unsafe or unappreciated, I try to remind my kids to run their ideas past me if they have any doubt as to whether their task would be helpful. But don’t forget to encourage your kids as they begin to act in kindness toward their enemies!
5. Leave a gift where they will find it.
Another anonymous way our kids can show kindness is by leaving a gift for their enemy. Maybe they would like to bake some cookies to leave on that grumpy neighbor’s front porch. They could even write a kind note to their enemy and leave it with a piece of candy where they know he or she will find it and understand it is for them.
Our FREE printable random acts of kindness game gives you so many ideas on how to show kindness anonymously or in person! Make it a family challenge to show kindness—whether to enemies or friends.
Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.