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  1. I have just found your website while searching for answers on how to help my 3 year old at bedtime. We have a pretty consistent bedtime routine. I always start winding down with her and her 1 year old brother by playing with them in their room, then they put on pajamas and brush teeth, sometimes we read a book, baby brother goes into the crib, and then she gets to watch a TV show in mom & dad’s bed, then I put her to bed. We do this every night. She knows that after the show its time for bed. I never let her watch more than 1, and we never do anything else afterward. I take her to her room, we say a prayer, I sing her 3 songs, and I leave. Lately, she throws an enormous fit when I walk out of the room, screaming and crying, wanting more songs, more prayers, more hugs, more kisses, more everything. Obviously this is very frustrating – but the even more frustrating part is that she shares a room with my son and often wakes him up when she starts screaming at the top of her lungs. I literally do not know what to do. I have tried many times to just walk out and leave her – if i don’t tell her that getting out of bed will earn her a consequence, she will get out over and over. Otherwise, she sometimes will scream for an hour. I have tried prizes of fun breakfast foods in the morning if she goes to bed with no fits – which worked for awhile but really isn’t any longer, and I don’t like the idea of having to offer a prize to get her to obey. Please help!!

    1. I don’t bribe with prizes because they only work in the short term. My suggestion would be to stay consistent (both at bedtime and not at bedtime). Tell her what is expected and don’t give in! Have you read my toddlers post? That might help, too.

    2. Some people have testimonies of turning off all electronics one hour before bed. Electronics can overstimulate a child and wind them up with all the lights and noises. Having 1 hr of down time from electronics before bed have helped several parents. I encourage you to give it a try, No TV before bed.

    3. One thing that helped us in this situation was a rewards chart. If my daughter went to sleep quietly, she got a star on the chart the next morning. A certain number of stars added up to a special treat like an ice cream or a special movie.

      I agree that watching tv before bed can be overstimulating. Instead, give her a bath or read an extra long time with her.

      The other suggestion is to say something like “I will leave the door open a bit and leave the hall light on if you are quiet. Otherwise I have to shut the door” You could also offer to sit outside her door if she’s quiet. She doesn’t have to be able to see you, but just knowing you’re there could help a lot.

    4. I think some parents are too soft, just be consistent & stick to your guns, take a reward off her if she plays up like no TV the next night, they have to learn to be obedient, this has worked for my 3 kids

  2. We have been able to successfully train our children to stay in bed by being consistent and letting them know what we expect.
    I can fully attest to making sure that they get enough sleep, 10-12 hours, because when my daughter was about 2 we allowed her to stay up until 9 when she showed signs of being tired. She wasn’t napping anymore but often we would experience meltdowns during the day. After we moved up her bedtime to 8 and finally to 7:30 she was always pleasant and we rarely experienced meltdowns.
    She is now 5 and she goes to bed by 8… if she doesn’t go to bed good then she knows that the following night she’ll be going to bed 15 minutes earlier. “Oh you must be so tired because you are being super cranky. Tomorrow you can go to bed early so that you get enough sleep and won’t be so grumpy.”

  3. How do you train them as infants and toddlers? Did you already do a post about this topic?

  4. The routine isn’t working. My 3 year old daughter has had the same routine for years now. I do not give in to demands or make concessions. She is a very hyper child. She is exactly like I was as a kid. A real life Dennis the Menace. She just won’t give it up at bedtime. She will be exhausted and lie there for a few minutes and then gets this wave if energy. I’ve tried everything. The night light gets taken out, the door gets closed ( then she turns her bedroom light on ), I take the bulb out, I’ve taken favorite toys as punishment, the list goes on. She will get upset for a minute and cry. Then she’s accepts her situation and resumes the madness. It’s she’s not in there playing and getting out of bed then she is crying non stop and keeping my 10 year old daughter awake. Not to mention the toll it takes on me. I work full time and my wife works nights. So by the time she does finally go to sleep I don’t have a minute to myself because I have to go to bed and do it all over again. I’m exhausted with no end in sight.

    1. Have you considered a dietary change? No artificial coloring, no refine sugar, and no caffeine? I know many people have had much success with that.

    2. I had that issue. Our pediatrician suggested melatonin melts. Now my biggest problem is coercing them that they don’t need it EVERY night.

  5. I’m happy I’m not the only person who thought that the second they read it.

  6. At 8:45 every night I put my boys to bed. I never have any trouble getting them to sleep but every single night my 8 year old wakes up in the middle of the night and gets in bed with his brother or the large chair in my room. I’ve done everything possible to try to get him to stay in his own room. He says he’s scared but he’s not scared when he goes to bed. We have lived here for 6 years so I don’t know why he’s been doing this for about 6 months now. I punish him each day for it but now I feel like he’s dealing with a major issue in his life and I’m punishing him for it.

  7. We laid with our daughter until she fell asleep for a long while. Know what it cost us? Intimacy time with each other, sleep, a good night sleep, etc. Stepping with your child creates separation anxiety when they will start to need to go to step on their own. Then if you go back to your own bed after they fall asleep, if they wake in three Mike of the night (or anytime for that matter) with will be panicked and come to get you. We made that mistake and are now trying to fix it. Our daughter is now 6. She had not had a full uninterrupted night’s sleep in three last couple years. YEARS! I’m not even exaggerating. We can see it affecting her daily mood and her performance in school and learning. Lack of step affects attention in school too. She fidgets and talks to friends and does whatever she can to stay awake, but gets her in trouble in class. As I write this, it is 1:38am. I have put her down 4 times already since 7pm. I get up for work I another 3 1/2 hours. DON’T SHEEP IN THEIR BEDS WITH THEM. You’re inviting trouble

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