How to Get Kids to Stay in Bed
Bedtime often comes with a headache and a wave of nausea for parents. Visions of temper tantrums and creeping-feet-out-of-bed-for-the-15th-time haunt us senseless. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Bedtime can be an enjoyable time in your home. How to get your kids to stay in bed will teach you how you can get them to do that and not go nuts.
Before I offer you troubleshooting for those nightmares, I must mention that a good routine is key. If you work on this consistently, you will see a return! Children are comfortable with a routine, and once they know it’s in place, they are much less likely to challenge it.
A Good Routine for Getting Kids to Stay in Bed
- A good bedtime routine is loose and not bound to a set list: reading, singing, rocking, etc. That way it can be changed if time is short and a babysitter can put them to bed without a fuss. If a child CANNOT go to bed without a story, he/she is set up for disaster. Stories are great, just make sure it’s not mandatory. In my home, we don’t usually have a story at bedtime. We read together all day!
- The time for bed should be a consistent window of time. For example, my 8-, 7-, and 5-year-old go to bed around 8:30 pm. Anytime between 8:00 and 9:00 is fair, but 10 pm is not.
- Arrange for your child to get 10-12 hours of sleep every night. That’s what pediatricians recommend, and, no, your child isn’t the only one in the world who just doesn’t need that much sleep. Remember: lost sleep makes it harder to sleep. Don’t sacrifice a nap hoping for better nighttime sleep … it will backfire. An overtired child makes everyone miserable.
- Have a wind-down time. No later than 8:00 pm, my kids are in their rooms and in their beds. I let the older children read with a book light. This is great for children who share rooms. As long as they are reading, I allow them to stay up a bit longer, and the book light keeps the others from being disturbed. By the time lights go out, they are settled. Plus, you get the added benefit of enhancing their reading skills.
- Wind down with audiobooks or music. My mother-in-law first suggested this to me as it worked so well for her kids. When falling asleep, I sometimes play a Patch the Pirate CD or a classical music CD. Click here for some of our favorite audiobooks.
- Have high expectations for bedtime. I expect my kids to go to bed when I tell them to. Crazy thought, huh? As a parent, teaching the importance of obedience is a common theme around here. If things aren’t going the way they should, we work on changing the behavior, but I don’t give up and let the child decide what is best.
- Be mindful of chocolate, sugar, and caffeine consumed after 3 pm. They really do make a difference!
Our bedtime habits started when my kids were very young.
I am sensitive to the fact that most people reading this post are trying to correct bad habits, but I can’t talk about good bedtime habits without at least mentioning that I put in years of hard work at the beginning. Sleep was one thing that I wanted my kids to be very good at, so I concentrated much effort on training them to enjoy sleeping. I don’t regret that. No one in my family dreads bedtime or throws fits. Even my 2-year-old is generally very compliant on his own. I promise you, this is largely because of the training that I have done with them as infants/toddlers.
So how do you get kids to stay in bed?
For some parents, getting kids to STAY in bed is the biggest challenge. I can’t give you a magic pill, and no two children are alike, so you are going to need to experiment with what works for you. For me, it starts with consistent training as infants/toddlers and then a little troubleshooting when things aren’t working as they should.
Start with troubleshooting: Is there something bothering your child? Is a sibling instigating a bedtime “party”? Talk to them about why they keep getting out of bed and really listen for answers. Our kids need us, and sometimes the quiet of the evening is the best time to talk about things. Always solve these issues first BEFORE you make this an obedience thing. When my boys continued to pester one another at bedtime, an easy solution was to keep their door open. Knowing I could hear everything they did encouraged them to stay in their beds.
Make their sleep space special: Making their own sleep space a bit special can encourage them to stay put. Bed tents and curtains have been a great solution for us. The kids all love being enclosed in their space. It blocks out noise and extra light. It’s a beautiful thing. The kids on the top bunks have bed tents, and the bottom children have curtains.
Consequences: If my kids get out of bed, they are taking away my time to work. So, I naturally must get that time back the next night, which means that I have them go to bed 15 minutes earlier the next night. This is really the only tool I need with my 8-, 7-, and 5-year-old. I explain this consequence to them exactly like I just did for you. They understand my need and actually are fairly respectful of it.
Rewards: My personal parenting policy is never to reward a child who is doing that which is expected with goods like toys and food. But I do reward with lots of verbal praise. It’s always good to praise a little more than they actually do, speaking promise into their little hearts. Of course, your kids aren’t perfectly doing this every night, but praise for wins sure compels them to keep trying! (P.S. don’t praise as a way of shaming another child who isn’t doing as well. There is no place for that in parenting!)
Train them: If you’ve got a little guy who is still learning, be ready to take the time needed to train them. Sit outside the bedroom door with a book or your computer until he falls asleep. If the tot gets out of bed, say, “It’s nighttime. Get back in bed.” If he does it again, say nothing—just point. Pick him up and carry him back to bed if you need to. Continue to monitor until the behavior stops. If you are consistent, it will only take a few nights for him to get the message.
Leave them in the crib until they are 40: Alright, I might be exaggerating a tad here, but seriously most parents take their child out of the crib far too soon. Leave them in there as long as possible. Even if he/she can climb out … this is a good time to train them NOT to. It is my policy to leave them in the crib until they potty train. Currently, my 2.5-year-old is still in the crib. He can climb in and out on his own, but I have trained him to wait until I allow him to do so. The transition to a bed will be much easier this way.
No lie: while I was typing this post, my three big kids all got out of bed. It’s funny how God likes to keep me humble, and it reminds me to tell you that you are a good mom (or dad). Please don’t buy the lie that you aren’t. Kids are going to disobey, even when they generally have a particular skill mastered. Don’t be discouraged! You will have plenty of nights with little children all nestled in bed.
Still looking for practical tips on how to get kids to stay in bed? I’ve polled my readers for a few ideas.
Tips from my readers on getting kids to stay in bed:
Clip lights and book slings … if they are in their bed at bedtime, they can have 15-30 minutes to read, look at books, draw, etc. Then we come around and say prayers with them. (Suzanne)
Wear them out! (Laura)
We made their beds inviting and a true place of peace and rest, and we’ve provided night lights and cracked doors when they’ve wanted them. None of ours have ever wanted to get out of their beds. Ever! I feel that is the grace of God! We need more of that grace in other areas, though, such as getting the kids to eat vegetables. (Frances)
They know if they act out their bedtime will move up 15-30 minutes the next night. (Christy)
One thing that really helps is having kids that are actually tired. Sounds silly, right? I have found that so many kids do not get enough physical activity and are really not tired so they are up and down. I try to shoot for about 2 hours of outside playtime on most days. Makes a world of difference! (Amy)
We let them listen to great audiobooks. (Jane)
We give them a dime for every night they do a good job. (Debbie)
When my daughter was younger, I’d give her “get out of bed” tokens. She could use a token to get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom, whatever, but once they’re gone, she’s done and has to stay in bed. (Kelley)
Have kids share a room. (Jen)
Cozy ambiance in their bedroom, reading books, air filter white noise, and low background native music. I sometimes fall asleep there too. Zzzzzzzz! (Mari)
Being consistent and making sure they know they HAVE to stay there! (Heather)
Get more tips here —→ How to help kids obey
Got questions or other tips on how to get kids to stay in bed? Leave a comment and join in the discussion!
A Resource to Teach Obedience
Getting kids to stay in bed isn’t the only thing we want our kids to be obedient in. We want them to want to be obedient in all the things we’re teaching them. If you’d like to teach your kids the WHY and HOW behind obedience, check out Obey—a four-week Bible study for kids!
The Obey Bible Study is part of our Relationships Series, designed to teach your kids Biblical principles for developing and strengthening Christian relationships. Each bundle contains five age-appropriate Bible studies: Obey, My Brother’s Keeper, Making Peace, Becoming a Servant, and Navigating Friendships— plus, some fun bonus items!
MORE POSTS ABOUT OBEDIENCE
- How to Think of Better Punishments for Kids (especially when you’re mad)
- Is Kids Time Out Effective
- 5 Tips for Your Disobedient Child
- Pointing a Rebellious Child to God
- Teaching Your Child the Importance of Obedience
- How to Get Kids to Listen
- How to Teach Your Kids to Stop Interrupting
- When Your Child Embarrasses You in Public
- 3 Christian Discipline Questions to Ask Your Kids
- How to Limit Screen Time and Get Your Kids to Obey
Through practical tools & Bible-based resources, Kim Sorgius is dedicated to helping your family GROW in faith so you can be Not Consumed by life’s struggles. Author of popular kid’s devotional Bible studies and practical homeschooling tools, Kim has a master’s degree in education and curriculum design coupled with over 2 decades of experience working with kids and teens. Above all, her most treasured job is mother and homeschool teacher of four amazing kiddos.
My problem is I have two 3 year old twins who get up in the middle of the night and get in bed with us. They have gotten to be very stelthy (or I am just very tired) and I don’t even realize it part of the time. Any suggestions for this?
What is your response to them when you do realize it?
I struggle with this too with my four yr old son. I wake up in the morning and there he is, asleep next to me. I worry the inconsistency will be extremely tough to correct.
My 4 yr old son does the same thing. If I wake up I take him back to his bed, but more times than not I wake up and he’s there. He has had night terrors since 6 months old, wakes up screaming some nights and does some sleepwalking. He tells me his dreams bring him to my bed. The few mornings when he does wake up in his bed he is excited and says “Mom I stayed in my bed last night!! I’m getting to be a big boy now!” 🙂 I made a point of not regularly bringing him (or our daughter) into our bed because it was hard breaking our oldest son from it, but he was born at 25 wks and when we got to bring him home I couldn’t stand him being more than arms length away from me.
My almost five year old was coming to sneak on our bed almost every night. She’d go to my hisband’s side and I would have no idea until I woke up to be nearly falling out of the bed. We decided to lock our door, so that if she came to our room and needed us, she’d have to knock, therefore waking us up and being coherent enough to send her back to bed. It’s nice to have her bed back, but she does still come and knock on our door almost every night! Praying for inspiration to help her sleep through the entire night.
Good ideas – but technology after 6 in our home is generally a NO NO. I find that anything – tv, computers, games, etch increase their irritability and decreases their body’s normal desire to ‘slow down’ at the end of the day.
I think having our 2 daughters, 8 & 5, share a room has been our biggest asset! Our 8 year old has started telling stories to our 5 year old stories every night. I am thrilled that they use that time to bond as sisters. It’s a time that is all their own, no parents listening, they are making memories! For our 2 year old son, we give him board books and a few quiet toys to play with in his crib if he wakes up before I’m ready to get up. Hopefully, this will lead to a smooth transition to quiet time in bed at night when he starts sleeping in a regular bed.
Tips for naptime? I have 2-yr old twins and since we switchd them to their toddler beds, naptime is not even a blip on the radar (I would say nealry impossible). But, they need their sleep. Naptimes are getting better. We usually lay on the floor for about 10-15 minutes. (We have always had a routine, but with the change…they are fighting it.)
Theresa, is it at all possible for you to have your twins nap separately? I have three kids (5, 2 and 14 months) and they all share the same room. Often the girls won’t sleep during afternoon nap time, but just have “quiet time” which for my two year old isn’t always all that quiet. To ensure that my son still gets his much needed 2nd nap, I put him in a Kidco (peapod) tent on our bed. For whatever reason, they all go to sleep just fine at bedtime and making sure that our son gets his naps during the day really helps. Changing your lingo from “nap-time” to “quiet-time” might help too. My 2 year old is more likely to fall asleep at quiet time if she’s given books or a couple of quiet toys like 2 or 3 Little People. She can have them, but she HAS to stay in her bed. If she doesn’t stay in her bed, she gets consequences.
I have had luck in the past telling my kids that they don’t have to go to sleep, they just need to lie down and be still so they can rest. They almost always fall asleep 🙂
I also never use nap time as a punishment for misbehavior. For example, I try not to say things like “If you don’t behave you have to take a nap.” Trying to make it is enjoyable as possible helps. With my current nap taker, we use nap time as our special time to snuggle and tell a story, read a book, or watch a short story on my phone before falling asleep. This seems to help a lot. Good luck!
Thanks for writing this post! 🙂
Great tips! My baby’s only 15 months, but she has a sibling due to arrive in July, so I think we’ll have to mover her out of the crib early. Any tips for keeping her in bed are way helpful. Thank you (and your readers!) for sharing this post today.
Is it possible to borrow a crib from a friend? I would do anything to make that a possibility if I were you. My oldest two are 13 months apart. I actually bought a second crib.
Another option you have is to use a pack n play for baby. In fact, my youngest child (2.5) has never been in a crib at all…only a pack n play (and still sleeps in it everyday). Even if you don’t do it as long as I did, you can use it for the first year and that will greatly help!
I moved both of my oldest out of a crib and into a toddler bed at about a year old for the same reason you are considering it. (I have three kids, and the oldest one is three.) For my own sanity I needed them to be able to get up by themselves in the morning and get into bed on their own at night, so getting more cribs was just not going to work. My oldest had the hardest time with it, but with consistency and a good routine she learned pretty quickly to stay in bed. I put a cd player in her room and played a cd of relaxing music every night and nap time to signal that it was time to lie down and be quiet. Also, since we are a spiritually focused family, I prayed and sang with her every night before bed. My son loves going to sleep, so it only took a week or so to get him used to the toddler bed, but at naptime I still have to give him a few minutes to fall asleep before I put my daughter to bed or they play. I am thinking that putting him in a room of his own would solve that problem, however, so since my youngest is sleeping through the night I will probably alter sleeping arrangements soon.
Honestly, I would get another crib or use a pack-n-play. I had the same issue and when my almost 2 year old climbed out of the crib once I moved him to a toddler bed. Biggest mistake I EVER made and I still regret it, he is almost 4. He was a wonderful sleeper until I took him out of the crib, and has been a terrible sleeper since. Just finally getting him to stay in bed. Just my opinion 😀
Like you, I created a bedtime routine when my kids were super young, babies even and it was among the best if decisions that I’ve made as a parent. Great article and awesome tips…beginning to end.
Did you want to come to my house for a while? My now-5-year-old has never, EVER done bedtime well. She never gets away with getting up. But biblical chastisement 😉 is still required EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. (Multiple times a night probably at least 6 days/week.) She does not get up because of needs – or even perceived needs – she just doesn’t feel like being obedient.
It started with naptime. She quit taking naps at…2? I literally spent 3 solid weeks doing NOTHING all afternoon every day except disciplining her and putting her back when she tried to get up. (We’re talking about 5 HOURS a day every day.) She would finally fall asleep from sheer exhaustion just in time for dinner. We saw no improvement whatsoever, and I finally had to just stop putting her down for naps at all, because mama can’t afford to be spending 5 hours of every day doing nothing but putting a kid back to bed. (My friends all assured me that if I was consistent, we’d see results in just a few days.)
What the heck do you do with a kid like that? (Our 10yo has her days, as they all do, but she’s not an ongoing problem. And the toddler goes to bed without issue unless circumstances have been very strange, like when she’s been sick and sleeping with us so she’s off her routine.)
Two things come to mind right away. The first would be the consequence of going to bed early the following night. Have you tried that? Every time she gets out of bed, add time to the “sentence.” Don’t bother with chastisement if it’s not working. If she keeps getting out, keep adding in 15 minutes increments. If she has to go to bed right after dinner, perhaps that will change her mind.
The second would be a crib. Do you have one available? I would tell her that since she can’t obey like a 5 year old, she is going to need to sleep in a bed made for children who can not be trusted to stay in bed.
I can’t stress enough that some children are just like that. My oldest is and I would question my mothering skills if it wasn’t that my youngest works great with his bedtime routine. You know your child has sleeping problems when the only thing your ped can say ‘well your doing everything right’. My husband also remembers laying in bed wanting to fall asleep as a child – then I found other fa,lily members with similar stories.
The only things that have helped
We have a really early bedtime 7pm
I know my son and I know he needs at least 10-12 hours sleep even though others try to tell me ‘he may just not need that much slee’
We have used melatonin with the okay of the led – though I did all the research on it.
One trick we used was after bedtime when the kids would come down for water or lost stuffed animal or whatever it was, I’d tell them: “Since you are down here now, you might as well help me clean —–“. They caught on pretty quick:)
How different it now is with one little one and four teenagers!!
Any advice for keeping them in bed later in the morning? My 2.5 year old will wake up at 6am regardless of what hour he went to bed.
My first advice would be to keep him in the crib, so he can’t get up. If for some reason you can’t…I would still do the following…
When he wakes early, do nothing. If he screams or cries, go in and say, “it’s not time to wake up yet, please go back to bed.” Then turn around and shut the door. If you do this consistently when they are young, it will be a rare occasion that they get up before you want them to. On the flip side, if you let them up at 6am…it will be a rare occasion that they ever sleep past that.
Thanks for the advice! I’ll give it a try this week.
I know this is coming a few months after your question… but, I thought I’d share how I get my girls to stay in their room in the morning. My girls (3 1/2 & 2) share a room and I have a lamp that automatically turns on at 7:15a. Even if they get up to go to the restroom, they are not allowed to be up & out of theiir room until the light comes on. So, they will get up, get a few toys or books and get back in bed. Sharing a room is nice in that they keep each other company, but I haven’t figured out how to keep them from waking each other up in the morning!
Thanks for the advice! I’ll give it a try this week.
Some of these are really great ideas, thanks! Consistency is really important—as is establishing yourself as authority at all times 🙂
Have a great day,
Mrs. Sarah Coller
I would not recommend getting into bed with you children until they fall asleep. This is a routine that your children are getting used to, and I don’t think you will want to climb into bed with them every night until they leave for college. They need to fall asleep on their own. It’s better to bite the bullet when they are young , to have peace of mind later.
Anyone have any advice or suggestions for me and my husband? We are expecting our 3rd this fall, and currently have a son who is 2-and-a-half and a daughter who is 15 months old (15 mos between 1 & 2; 20 mos between 2 & 3, if you’re curious). Our son and daughter do not yet share a room, but we intend to have them share so they won’t be disturbed by a newborn. They are both on the potty training continuum (son wears a diaper only at nap/night; daughter is just starting to wear training pants), and occasionally wake up at night needing to be changed. They are both still in cribs, and we intend to keep them there as long as possible. We are pretty sure we want to move them together before the newborn arrives, but can anyone give some specific advice for how to make the transition as smooth as possible?
I completely agree about the negatives of locking a child in their room. My daughter is 5 and up until a month ago, she has always been a great sleeper. She suddenly started having nightmares (which I don’t even think are always nightmares –think she just wakes up and gets scared) and comes into our bedroom wanting to sleep with us.
I am doing a lot of research about why kids do this and apparently it is very common at this age for kids to suddenly realize that bad things do/can happen. If you have a child with a vivid imagination, they can also think of many things that can scare them in the middle of the night. Children are taught to come to their parents for safety so it is logical that they do come to us then when they are feeling scared. It’s been programmed into them to react like this. Long ago, children had a much better chance of survival if they slept with or very near their parents. Kids today don’t have the same threats to their survival, but they are still programmed to be near their parents at night when they are scared. Punishing a child (spanking) or logically trying to have a conversation with a terrified, small child in the middle of the night is probably not going to work. If anything, it will probably compound the matter making the child even more anxious. However, letting the child sleep with you can start a dependency. Best thing to do (as hard as it is) is to take them back to their room, over and over if necessary and try not to lose your cool. Sometimes we need to sit with my daughter for a few minutes if she is really anxious or upset by a dream. I do like the idea of an earlier bed time consequence for waking us up if it is multiple times throughout the night and am going to try that. However, my daughter seems to be so anxious (heart pounding when she comes and truly hysterical) that I am not sure she could even comprehend the “consequence” for her action in that state of mind. Will see..
One other suggestion that I have been given, and have not tried yet, is to let them sleep at the end of your bed on the floor (nothing too comfortable) if nothing works and they are just too scared to go back to their room. I have friends who still do this with their 9 year old. They say he doesn’t abuse it but every now and then they find him there in the morning. The rule is that he can only come in and do it if he doesn’t wake them up. I am going to try everything else first because I worry that my daughter will be there every, single day if we try this route and not learn how to sleep on her own.
Good luck to everyone out there in the same boat!
I just want to say I LOVE how you admitted that while writing this post all children came out of bed. I think this is what makes it hard for people to take advice, hearing it from parents that insist their children always follow the rules. I like the suggestion for moving bedtime up if they get out of bed. Will try that soon.
I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. My 3 year old daughter finally was a great sleeper after we sleep trained her to stay in her bed by herself using a sticker chart. It was simple and affective, but once the baby was born every week there was a new issue that arose and now it has spiraled out of control. It started with her being fine them she started getting scared of the dark, which was never a problem. A night light fixed that issue. Then things were scaring her. Noises and items in her room. She started getting out of bed and we put a stop to that, but now she won’t get out of bed but instead screams and yells for us throughout the night…waking the baby often. So after checking on her we decided to let her cry it out… Days of this and she wasn’t giving in. Dad finally, so sleep deprived, layed down with her creating an awful habit we worked so hard to break before the new baby came. How do we get her back to sleeping by herself?
When my husband went out of town, my son had trouble staying in bed and wouldn’t go to sleep. We began reading this book that told him the house turned into a spaceship and floated through space at night as long as he stayed in bed. It said autopilot took care of everything and makes sure everything is safe. He stayed in bed. It’s been over 3 months and he still asks me to “do spaceship” almost every night. Now, we just turn out the lights and I tell it to him from memory–it still works! It’s on Amazon called Bedtime Spaceship.
Thank you!! I completely agree. We moved my gal into a bed at 18 months, and didn’t have problems until she was three. I am not about to put her into a crib. She can learn how to stay in bed like the big girl she is.
I think the most important advice you can give people is there is no one answer that will fix everything.
My girl has never been a great sleeper, but did well in her big bed (we put her in a twin about 18 months) until now, she’s about to turn three. She simply wants the attention. Sh will “stay” in bed, but will open the door then ask if you’re going to come close it. If you don’t close it she starts opening and shutting it until you get up and get her in trouble. We have chosen to simply ignore her. I’ll let you know how it goes.
My point is, what works for my kid may not work for someone else’s. I think it’s important to put that disclaimer in when advising desperate, broken parents. Otherwise you just read all of the things you’ve done wrong and failed at, and feel more and more defeated.
My son started getting out of bed each night when my husband left to go out of town. We found a book we read to him each night that seems to have helped. He asks for it almost every night and it works almost every time–so it’s worth repeating and part of our routine even when dad is not out of town. It’s called Bedtime Spaceship at http://www.amazon.com/Star-Flights-Bedtime-Spaceship-Drifting-ebook/dp/B00FKC1RH8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382634740&sr=8-1&keywords=bedtime+spaceship
My children stay in bed well because we have been consistent, but also because we use bedtime passes. They get a pass each night if they behave during the bedtime routine (no arguing, clean up dirty clothes, etc). If they “need” to get out of bed they have to give us a pass. Each one has one use for ONE of the following-drink, hug/kiss,or toilet. If they don’t use the passes much, they can turn in 5 passes and then stay up 15 min late. Normally we have a thirty min routine and then they have to be in bed by a set time. So an extra 15 hanging out with just mom and dad playing a game or reading a story is awesome! (They are ages 3,4,6,and 8)
As for the crib….we move them to a bed (twin size, low to ground) at about 11 months, BEFORE they can walk or crawl (all of our kids crawl around a year and walk about 15-18months) They fall out a few nights (onto a soft blanket), then they learn to stay in the bed. After they learn to be more mobile they get out a few times but the door is closed and the room dark so there really is no perk! Then they learn to stay in bed. I always feel sorry for kids who still have to have “bars” added to the sides of their beds up to 6 years old who still don’t know how to not fall out of bed at night! My kids know by 12 months!! So much easier 🙂
Thank you so much for this article! loved it!! I have a 2 1/2 yr old who does NOT like to stay in bed…he gets up multiple times. I will try this though! again, thank you! 🙂
This is a great article. I now have two adult children and two teenagers at home. My husband and I have followed many of the same “habits” that Kim has done. But I will say that for us, reading God’s word and a child devotional, as a family, before bed (there are so many great children devotional out there!), then spending a few minutes snuggling and talking with each child, was so precious to us. Those a special times that you get with each individual child. I wish I could go back and have those times again! They flew by way too fast.
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Finding
the time and actual effort to create a good article… but what can I say…
I hesitate a lot and never manage to get anything done.
i am having a slightly different problem i have 1 year old twins and a 3 year old the twins share a room and 3 year old has her own i am struggling to put them to sleep as whilst trying to get the twins to calm down the 3 year old is making noise etc and stopping them being able to fall asleep then if one is nearly asleep and the other one cries it wakes the nearly asleep one then they cry i cannot put the 3 year old to sleep first as the twins get so upset because they are tired and i just feel like i am going round and round in circles every night my 3 year old will not go in her bed if i am not in the room to put her in bed but if i take the twins in there with me she will not go sleep i am on my own every bed time and cannot figure out the way forward any suggestions would be greatly welcome x
Is there any possibility of splitting them up? That’s a lot of very young children in the same room. If you absolutely have no other space, I would consider putting the 3-year old to bed in your room first and then move him back to his bed when everyone is asleep.
I have 4 under 4 🙂 I would find something that your 3yo can do by herself while you put the babies to bed. Start a bit earlier to keep the twins from going crazy and being over tired and to keep yourself a little more relaxed (30 min?) My 2 and 3 yo love to watch music videos on my phone, I would take her to your room and tell her she gets to sit in your bed and have some special time to listen to music for 15 minutes and then go get the babies to bed. I don’t know what to say about the 2 babies waking each other up-if you want them to continue sharing a room, I would definitely try white noise-we have a big box fan in the baby’s room because he goes to bed earlier than everyone else and it drowns out some of the loud yells from everyone else! You could do anything special with the 3yo that she would like, special crayons and coloring book, stickers and sticker book, special video to watch, special books, special music. The idea is to have her somewhere other than her room, so she knows she’s not going to bed yet, and to make it special so she will WANT to stay there. Make sure she knows that you will come back and get her when you’re done putting the babies down and she is to be quiet and do her special activity.
Here are my thoughts on getting a toddler to stay in bed– I’ve tried it all, I’m a pediatrician and mother of 5: http://childrensmd.org/browse-by-age-group/toddler-pre-school/get-2-year-old-stay-bed/
I have 2 boys 2.5 and 4. Both are fully potty trained.
We have a bed time routine. And every night same thing 1.5 hours. Excuse after excuse.
And most of the time I say nothing more then “bed” and I send them back.
But then they get creative. I have to go to the washroom. Or (both my kids have bad excema) I’m itchy and need cream.
And it’s alwAys my luck that when I call them on it is the time they really did have to pee and now wet the bed. Or really did have a big itchy spot and now it’s a giant scab. Then when I do give in the sit in the bathroom for 20 mins saying no really I do have to go pee.
I’m at a loss. I’m all out of ideas.
I think the most important thing is to make sure that you pre-empt their excuses. Go potty right before bed. Then it’s done. The cream one is harder. But the more consistent you are, the quicker that excuse will go away too. This does pass! I promise.
My question is; how do you know when it’s time to stop nap time and turn it into quiet time? My kids are great sleepers and typically don’t give me trouble at bedtime, but my 3.5yo is giving me trouble at naptime now. He gets out of bed multiple times with every excuse in the book, spanking, the 100x walk back, etc has made no effect. I’m wondering if he’s simply growing out of naps. MOMMA needs him to take a quiet time though and honestly I think he could use the sleep at least a couple times a week… He will fall asleep several times a week for naptime still, but it’s always a shot in the dark and makes my afternoon just a scary mess because I never know if I’m going to be able to rest myself or get something done! The other equation is that I think he is going to start sharing a room with his 2.5yo brother who naps every afternoon without a problem…so what then?
Hi Jessica,
It’s not unlikely to grow out of a nap around that age. But that doesn’t mean that you have to give up quiet time. I would allow him to have a small box of books or quiet toys on his bed and make a big deal out of how he is getting older and NOW he doesn’t have to nap anymore, but he still needs to have quiet time. I actually use books on tape for my boys. They love them.
Sharing a room at naptime is another matter. It’s hard. I used to separate them and have one nap on my bed and one in their bed.
Any advice for a foster child? There are no attachments so taking toys away don’t work.
How old is the child?