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  1. I guess this is intruding…but things like this come at the times when I need it most. I am a dad, living what you have just spoken about. I don’t quite understand, but I am overwhelmed by everything you are speaking to. Kim, I don’t know where your words come from, but I hope it give some solace to the suffering single moms that there is a dad or two on this earth who has agreed to follow the convictions that you are suffering through. I certainly am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    1. Hi Mark,
      You are not the first dad to read and enjoy something in these pages. In fact, originally I tried to write gender neutral to meet the needs of the many men who were reading, but I struggled. I can’t help it, I’m just a girl! 🙂 Nonetheless, I know there are many men out there that feel this way and struggle with so many of the things that I have written about. Please don’t feel like an intruder. You are welcome anytime! Praying for you, my friend!

  2. God Bless you for posting this. What a privilege to read, as a single Mother to two Children 4-years-old & 3-years-old I know the feelings associated with this post! I too at times in the past felt like this, but learned early on to trust in God & I’m very fortunate that he has brought me through the storm. I pray for all of the single Mothers struggling emotionally, financially, in any way, this post really speaks truth & I hope someone somewhere takes very much away from it!

    Blessings to you & your family!

  3. I truly appreciate it this, especially the practical ideas! That is right up my alley! I just stumbled upon your website, and it has truly been blessing. After reading your story, I can definitely relate to a lot (adultery, abandonment, having children) and while I would NEVER wish my pain upon anyone, I do see how God has used it to draw me closer to Himself and grow me as a disciple, friend, mother, and yes, even wife. And I have learned that even if I do FEEL lonely (because as you said, we truly aren’t), those are the times I can hear God more clearly and I find sweet communion with Him. Keep writing!

  4. Pingback: How You Can Encourage a Single Mom Homeschool - Not Consumed
  5. Kim, thank you! My kids are adults now, but I was that single, homeschooling mom, and I found Words from God for every need, words I went to (and still go to) over and over and over again, and every time, I am/was lifted. I’ve found God to have a word for every need and every occasion, and we can lean on those words, and live on them. They become substance and evidence (Heb 11:1). I cherish the many Eureka moments when I realized God had heard my cries and was speaking directly to me through His Word!

  6. I am a single mom of two under 2 years due to my husband’s death this summer while I was pregnant with my younger child… yet there is still SO MUCH here that speaks to my situation and my struggles. Thank you for sharing your heart and the WORD.

  7. Oh Kim, why couldn’t I have found your website while I was home. Noooo, I had to come across your website while I am at work. Now I am sitting here stuck at my desk, crying. Ugh! Your words touch me so much. I know that God is talking to me through you and I just want to say thank you for taking the time out to write this blog post. I couldn’t quite seem to get through it without crying but I guess I will have to continue when I get home.

  8. Thank you so much for writing this! Just last week I met with my pastor, telling him that I felt so deeply lonely, seemingly in spite of seeking Him harder. As you say, those are feelings, and they come and go. But the LORD, and his faithfulness never changes. I am NEVER alone! I am so grateful to have run across this post (by accident), just when I need it. Needing to know that I am not in this alone. Most of the verses you shared are the very ones I have been meditating on, and even putting into my daughters lunches to encourage them. I was homeschooling, but just put them into public school, for a season, so that I can work more and hopefully attend school in order to be able to support us. But even that brings a whole new place of loneliness and doubt. You are so right, if we feel lonely without others, we will still feel lonely with them. There are places in our hearts that God, and God alone, can reach. Only He can fully satisfy.

  9. God truly works in mysterious ways, I was Google searching “lonely single parents” and this link was not even at the top but I clicked anyway. I really cried right now, because I needed to read this. Thank you so much.

  10. Thank You, Thank You so much for this post. You helped me tonight and tomorrow! I felt your caring and giving me encouragement and reminding me that He sees me and knows my life.

  11. I came across this post about a month ago as a direct answer to prayer. I have practiced this everyday sense. I am know part of your community, and realized God answered more than one prayer. I cannot tell you how much this means to me. My heart is lighter. I no longer get bad stress headaches and can sleep better. Thank you so very much! And may GOD continue to bless you and all you do.

  12. Beautiful post. It was exactly what I needed and very grateful for your kind, thoughtful and insightful words. You are giving much peace abd Beautiful post. It was exactly what I needed and very grateful for your kind, thoughtful and insightful words. You are giving much peace and comfort To a mom who needs it.
    Thank you for sharing and letting us know we are not alone.

  13. All I can say is thank you. I have been depressed and suicidal for years now. The depression seems to always be there but the thoughts of killing myself come and go. These last couple of days it has been something that I’ve been thinking about a lot. The only 2 things that have stopped me are my daughter and fear of God/not entering Heaven. I moved from California to a small town in the South. My mom was here but now she is gone. I have a recently married aunt and a busy cousin here but I barely talk to or see them. I’ve been here almost 2 years and I haven’t made friends. I miss my sisters and I miss the friends I had in Cali. I feel so alone. No one calls, text or anything. I feel invisible and tired of struggling mentally and financially.
    I feel like God can no longer hear me cry because it happens so much. I repeatedly pray about changing certain things I do and say but still go back to doing wrong. I will try and follow the tips you gave and hope they impact my life.
    Thank you and I am glad to know I am not alone.

    1. Vj, My heart goes out to you. How are you doing a year later? I am going through a difficult journey too. Wanted to let you know your post spoke to me. Prayers and Blessings, Christine

  14. I just wanted you to know how far God can use you to speak hope in HIM!
    I was not searching something to read about this, but suddenly I came here just to remember what God is constantly speaking louder to me, I needed to read exactly what you wrote to share with us,
    thank you.
    with love, from monterrey, mexico.

  15. Thanks for this article. I came across by googling “stressed single mom” I have been a single mom for the past 15 months, after losing my husband of 23 years unexpectedly. I have two teens, 15 and 13 and it is just so hard! After trying to be the perfect working mom and mom of two athletes, I am broken and a mess. Thank you for the reminder that God never leaves us. I am still feeling very much a mess, but reading that helped. Thank you!

    1. Dearest Tanya…you have no idea how much God loves and cherishes you. From personal experience, we can never be perfect, we weren’t created like that. As long as your kids know you love them and they are taken care of. You are human, we make mistakes. We get exhausted and we cannot be perfect. Take time to heal. Come to terms with the tragedy that has hit you snd KNOW you’re being lifted up in prayer.

      Stay amazing.

  16. I am thanking God right now that He is working all things for the good of those who love Him. Your testimony and your blog have given me much-needed comfort in knowing I am not alone. This spiritual battle within me is daunting but I will not be consumed by it. My hope is in Jesus and He has already won the battle. I just need to remember this every morning and every hour and not allow the devil to distract me with busy work like he did Martha. It is more important to spend time with the Lord, drowning myself in His Word. I very much look forward to following this blog as I venture into single mom homeschooling. Thank you for investing your time, heart, and soul into this ministry.

  17. Kim,
    I had no idea when I purchased a few of your books for my oldest daughters that you are single mom and homeschooler. I was inspired by your commitment to our God and teaching His Word fervently helping our young believers to blossom! I am in the process of becoming a single mom and continue to homeschool my six (11 and under). It has been a battle between recovery from 12 years of emotional and psychological and even physical abuse, being consumed with every day life and issues as I sought to walk with God along that path of righteousness. My situation is quite complicated in that I have been unknowingly married to a Sociopath for almost 12 years. I was basically lost in his manipulation for so long that now that the veil of deceit has been removed I can see clearly the years of abuse by a person who basically is devoid of any real conscious, care, or conviction. He is a fraud. However, as you have stated, we are not alone. I am happy to see you be so open and honestly share how God is enough. Although I desire to one day be married again it can not be my end all, be all. Jesus is my everything! Keep up the good work of teaching is unchangeable truths.

    1. I have been EXACTLY where you are. You and your children’s safety is of PARAMOUNT importance. Make sure your attorney has every detail, keep evidence, be safe and be BLESSED!

  18. I appreciate the blog buy hthishonestly did not help me. Single mom of an easy going teen but l am tired of praying. I even stopped going to church. It feels like waiting on the tooth fairy or Santa. I have prayed for over 16yrs for a breakthrough but Nothing. I made efforts at changes but no. It is as if l am stuck in the cycle of Job. Devil being given too much time to prove God has a purpose in this suffering. I am tired. No dont ask me to pray. Just tell me why God allows prolonged suffering, nonsupportive selfish people who come to your space to take and dysfunctional families. The worst part is this never ending struggle might tarnish my relationship with my child. Tired

    1. Sweet Mama…I completely understand. This is not the road any of us would’ve chosen. We unfortunately get given choices and somewhere along the line, we all make bad ones. I am not a scholar or an expert…but I will tell you what I do know – suffering, in all it’s forms is never what He had in mind for us, but it happens because the world is not His. So He creates ways for us to get back to Him, but no one ever said that this would be easy…it really isn’t. But you know what? At least you have a saviour who knows you insise out and cares. More than can be said for most humans. O really so wish life was just, then all the moms and dads out there who struggle day in and out, me included, would be richly rewarded. But life isn’t like that.

      I work with teens whose parents have it all, and yet those are the kids who yearn for love, attention, acknowledgement. If your teen is easy going, you’ve done a stellar job…because she trusts you.

      You are her rock and anchor and safe harbour in this realm and for THAT I salute you.

      Keep reaching out…you are part of a large group of people who know what you’re going through. Be blessed!

  19. I was enjoying your post until I got to the part where you said to “never speak a negative thought out loud…” you lost me hard then. You are not someone I would ever want to confide in because I would be afraid of being preached at if I ever dared express a negative thought or emotion out loud. I honestly don’t think that is a Biblical approach at all. Job and the Psalmist often said plenty of negative things out loud and clear. They were not judged for it. If we are not allowed to be transparent about our emotions even with God, we are living a lie. There have been times when I needed to scream my head off at Him because there was no one else I could express my anger and pain to. Thank goodness He loves me enough to let me do that. I’ve learned to NEVER admit to humans that I am sad or lonely or angry precisely because of posts like this one. I know I will be preached at and lectured if I do. I know I will be told that I am “just not trusting God enough,” (despite the fact that I throw myself on His mercy every morning just to get through the long, hard days. So I keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is okay, because that’s what Christians want to see. I also don’t agree that we shouldn’t ever feel that God isn’t enough. If God was ALL we needed, then why did He creat marriage at all? Why did He say in the garden “it is not good that man should be alone?” Don’t misunderstand me. I have been single more years of my life than I have been in a relationship, and I’ve been a single mom for seven of them. I haven’t been on one date since my husband abandoned me. God has been my sole provider through all this and He may be my sole anything to the end of my days. Most days I’m okay with that, but there are a few days when the thought is almost unbearable. Why? Because God did not intend for us to ONLY have Him in our lives. He created us for relationships with people, whether it be friendships or marriage. When we are forced to into the unnatural state of raising a child without a helpmeet (NOT God’s original plan) it is very natural to feel the awful void that is left there. I think God understands this and doesn’t judge us when we miss the comfort of a flesh and blood human. You got a lot of glowing responses to this post and I’m glad you were able to help some people, but I came away more determined than ever to not share my true feelings with anyone. I’m sick of being made to feel inadequate and guilty because I experience loneliness sometimes.

    1. Strella, Thank you for your post. I posted a few days ago (months after you did I believe.) I had read many of the glowing posts and then stopped reading before yours. I came back today to this page and saw your post. I am empathetic toward your story because my journey has been similar to yours. Above is VJ’s post and her journey of aloneness. as well. (Hi VJ!) I think a common theme the three of us are trying to speak of, and that many other’s feel, is as you have said, it is unnatural to be to the point of not having human interactions and human support. You worded it so well when you said one that it is natural to feel the void and two God does not judge us for feeling lonely because we are alone (without human support.) Was it here someone said feelings can be false? Well, sometimes maybe. But other times feelings are indicators of what IS going on. We need to be careful when dismissing feelings (that is a fundamentalist lie.) This is often what causes spouses to push down dangerous and warning signs. It is what keeps us from addressing issues.

      Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for your post. Blessings, C

  20. embody hope
    love is stronger than fear

    my children are survivors
    god allowed such evil
    god allows choice
    if he intervened and didn’t allow the evil then there would be no real chance to choose the good

    follow fear and desperation and it leads to more suffering

    choose hope and faith
    and pray for wisdom

    sometimes it’s easy
    sometimes it’s not so easy
    sometimes it feels like the world is swallowing us up

    my children remind me of the simple joys
    we sing our thankfulness
    celebrate the wonders

    helping them through their recovery is lifelong


    peace takes courage

    patience through the storms

    there’s healing in joy

    of course I am not strong enough
    is anyone?

    Encouraging scripture:

    When I am weak then I am strong

  21. The problem with this article is that it it is a half truth. Yes! God is with us always. Yes! God goes before us! Yes! God is there! Yet, people can still be very alone, even with God. Adam was in paradise, and God declared that it was not good for him to be alone Genesis 2:18. God didn’t make woman because Adam needed sexual intimacy, or even because Adam voiced his pain to his heavenly father. The fact is God himself declared it is not GOOD for man to be alone. And consequently since the woman was created to be a help-meet, it is not GOOD that woman should be alone. If you look at this fundamental unit, there is never aloneness among man. Man and Woman. Child and parent. and so on (siblings, friends, relatives, etc.). In healthy community and relationship there is an ebb and flow of human connection. However, often for the single parent that community disappears and evaporates. Compounded by a society bent on creating singleness, and we do have many who are very alone without support, or connection with others. Isn’t this why James 1:27 says, Visit them in their affliction. God knows it is an affliction, and commands that they be visited… because he knows one of many components of that affliction is the alone-ness and isolation fathrlessness and widowhood brings. I think often of Corrie who was so spiritually sound, yet when she faced isolation in prison it changed her. She even confided in her struggles after finally being released from prison, as her mind processed and healed those abuses. She commented how others looking on didn’t understand her actions. Isolation is damaging. It is a tool of the enemy and comes in many forms. It is so damaging for humans to treat one another this way. And we live in a world where isolation is so damaging to others. To tell them all they need is God, is to completely disregard there many needs. Almost akin to, go in peace, be warmed, and filled. He created us for connection with him but also connection with others. Like a two sided coin… or complex reality … love and wrath, sovereignty and mans responsibility, etc. Humanness needs both a spiritual connection and a connection with fellow man. Yes! Single parent you are not alone you have the heavenly Father with you. No! Church you are not meeting the needs of the hurting parent! Go and visit them! James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,

  22. So grateful to find this tonight. Single mom of 4, trying to drown myself in scripture…sometimes it’s good to hear things from another persons point of view. Thank you for sharing this.

  23. Thank you SO MUCH for this. I’m an introvert so when I feel alone and judged and out of sorts you KNOW it’s a big feeling. I cannot thank you enough for reminding me of His grace and mercy and that my tears and fears fall into the lap of the Almighty.

  24. I read this halfway at work yesterday and it made me get teary eyed. This is me, this is my present situation. I know I should read more and dig deeper in The Word. Problem is, I don’t do all the negative thought stay because I’m not combating them with the power of God. My heart goes out to all the moms and dads out there. It’s sooo lonely.

  25. Hi Kim!

    Whew. Wow. What to say here? I have been a single Mom for 24 years. On a heart journey that started out with a young, naive, rebellious, unbeliever hoping to find love…in all of the wrong places. Hoping for the idealistic marriage and family only to get the exact opposite. Sitting here, an empty nester of a 24 year old prodigal, clinging to Christ as my only hope after walking through many of the things you shared. Thank you for being transparent. So often in the church we only talk about the good and not the hard. We ignore the truth of the ugliness of sin and the brokenness we live through in a fallen world EVEN IN THE CHURCH for the sake of creating our perfect version of what we think life should look like for followers of Christ leading to building our own kingdoms and worshipping idols we have created. I had no idea your website even existed before today. I met with a friend for lunch who gave me a set of Not Consumed scripture cards as a gift. After I read through all of the cards I certainly became curious enough to want to know more about the people behind the website, leading me to read your story. I am always leary about looking to others from websites etc. as a source of truth because there is often enough truth to draw you in and then BAM!! false teaching slowly creeps in. I have not seen that here. I appreciate your stance on Gospel centeredness in your materials and the humility you show is sharing your story and how all of this began. I love these cards and the truth of God’s word reflected on them (Yay for something from the ESV!!)

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