9 Feelings Kids Struggle With (and How to Fight Them With God’s Truth)

Feelings kids struggle with can quickly spiral into lies about who we are and how God made us.
Here are 9 ways to combat them.

Tears streamed down his flushed cheeks as my son slammed the car door shut.

Ever since I can remember, my son has wanted to play basketball. For hours and hours, he would practice in the yard—endless bouncing, passing, and taking shots.

Yet here we were 2 weeks into the season, and all of the excitement had turned to anger and tears.

At bedtime that night, the truth came out. One of his teammates had said something about him not being good enough to make any shots during the game. But it didn’t stop there. Ugh. The teammate went on to tell my son he would never pass the ball to him because he wasn’t worthy of playing during precious game time.

It took every ounce of self-control I could muster to hold back my mama bear defense and instead take the opportunity to help my son understand life’s harsh realities. Hurt people hurt people. They say mean things, and often those things aren’t even true.

When people say ugly things, it feeds that negative voice inside of us that “always knew” we weren’t good enough. Then the feelings lead to a slippery slope of trouble. Thankfully my son didn’t punch the other boy in the face or quit the team. Instead, he shared his feelings with me. (Something we should praise our kids for!)

So what do you do when your kids struggle with big feelings?

First, it’s important to validate your child’s feelings. God gave us a wide variety of feelings, and most of those feelings in and of themselves are not sinful. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, happy, sad, frustrated, or lonely. It’s our reaction to feelings that gets us into trouble. So start by acknowledging that feelings are REAL.

Once your child understands that feelings are REAL, show them that the Bible tells us they aren’t reliable.

Some kids stuff their feelings until they POP. If this is your kid, check out this fun object lesson on stuffing your feelings inside. Other kids will be tempted to listen to the lies the world tells them until their feelings bubble out into a giant mess. If this is your child, check out this object lesson on feelings.

Our feelings can very quickly spiral into lies about who we are and how God made us. Feelings can’t be trusted because they are often rooted in what someone OTHER than God says about us. So the best way to combat them is to know what God says when you struggle with those hard feelings.

9 Feelings Kids Struggle With

1. My body is not good enough.

“Beauty is important.” “Look good.” “Have the right hair.” “Have the right build.” Have the right . . .”

The expectations go on and on. And when our kids don’t fit into those expectations, they feel discouraged, disappointed, and defeated.

Feeling—> My body is not good enough.

Truth—> My God says I am a wonderful work because He made me.

The truth is they are a wonderful work—just as they are! We can encourage our kids with the truth that God made them—the Creator of the universe made them—and He does not make mistakes! God made them in His image, and they are wonderful!

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

Hearing and applying the truth will take some work. But it will make such a difference. We can start by having our kids look in the mirror and tell us what they see. What makes them wonderful? What did God create in them that is special and unique? Then discuss the truth found in God’s Word about their image. They were wonderfully made—in His image!

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

2. I am not valuable.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The world says things like being the best, looking the best, standing out, and being the most popular make you more valuable than others. The world is wrong!

Feeling—> I am not valuable.

Truth—> My God says I am valuable because He loves me.

Understanding and applying the truth of God’s Word to the lies of the world can help change our view! We are valuable—perhaps not to everyone, but it’s important to remind kids that our value is NOT defined by others. It’s defined by our creator God.

Even when we mess up, God unconditionally loves us. Not because of what we do or how well we do it. (If this were the case, wouldn’t we all fail to be enough!?) We are unconditionally valuable because God loves us.

Teaching kids that both beauty and value were created by and defined by God alone is the first step to helping them understand this truth.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

3. I am not gifted or talented.

Our culture tends to elevate flashy talents. It can be deeply troubling to our kids when they feel like they don’t measure up. They might think, “Why would God make me this way?! I feel like I’m not good at anything.” There is deception at the root of this thinking, which causes feelings kids struggle with.

Feeling—> I am not gifted or talented.

Truth—> My God says I am gifted because I am part of His body.

The truth is that God cares more about us fulfilling our mission here on earth, which includes serving others. We need to teach our kids to strive to bring glory to God in all they do. The Bible tells us that we are all part of the body of Christ, each with different gifts—all of which are important for the body to work as intended. (It wouldn’t work well if we had 10 hands and no arms, right?)

Try making a list with your kids of the gifts and talents God has blessed them with and brainstorm ideas on how to use them to fulfill their God-given mission.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.

1 Peter 4:10

4. I am not able.

We all have weaknesses. (I’m often reminded of this!) I’m sure most kids struggle to do some things that others seem to do so easily. Feelings that stem from this can be very challenging! Especially when we want to fit in and be accepted.

Feeling—> I am not able.

Truth—> My God says I am able because He gives me strength.

The truth is that we are able because of God’s power, not our own strength or efforts. And the best part is that He uses us IN our weakness. It definitely reminds us that we NEED Him!

God’s perfect plan doesn’t mean we will do everything well. It means trusting God with weaknesses and strengths, being content with His plan, and praising Him through it all. When we can’t do something in our own strength, God’s glory shines through us!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

5. I am not heard.

At some point, all of us feel unheard in one way or another. This is no different for our kids. Maybe we, as parents, get too busy and don’t give full attention to listening to our kids when they need it. (Ouch.) Perhaps a friend isn’t a very good listener. Understanding that people will fail us is a reality we will continue to face.

Feeling—> I am not heard.

Truth—> My God says I am heard because He listens to the prayers of His children.

The most refreshing thing is the truth that God hears us. And if He even cares about the birds of the field, we know He cares about what we have to say even more.

Just because we don’t see the answer to a prayer doesn’t mean God didn’t hear us. He is a big God who sees ALL things, knows ALL things, AND listens to the prayers of His children.

This is also an excellent opportunity to teach our kids to be good listeners themselves, just as they want other people, and especially God, to listen to them. Remind them that even when others fail us, God never fails!

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

1 John 5:14

6. I am losing.

Do you ever feel like you’re losing the battle? We all have three main enemies: our flesh, the world, and Satan. The lies of our enemies are so sneaky and even seem attractive at times. We are tempted with feelings of fear, selfishness, anger, pride, and other ugly monsters. These lies affect our thoughts and behavior, which can make us all feel like we are failing.

Lie—> I am losing.

Truth—> My God says I am victorious because He fights for me.

We can know with confidence that we have the victory! If God is for you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31)? When we are warring with a bully or our own pride (or any other struggle), our victory comes from God.

This is certainly easier said than done, though. The key is to understand that God gives us every tool we need for every battle (hint: the armor of God). God can easily help the little guy (like David) defeat their struggle (like the giant). Teach your kids how to put on the armor!

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.

Ephesians 6:10–11

7. I am not safe.

Fear is a powerful feeling kids struggle with, just like adults do. Fears come in all shapes and sizes—fear of new places, failure, rejection by friends, being left alone, not making good grades—the list goes on! Fear is one of the biggest lies the enemy uses to entangle us because it shows our lack of trust in God.

Feeling—> I am not safe.

Truth—> My God says I am safe because He is in control.

Just like Peter, who jumped out of the boat, when we keep our eyes on Jesus, we are safe. When we look at the world around us, we feel like we are sinking.

But God tells us to fear not! We can learn to be brave and confident in Christ. Remind your kids to fix their eyes on Jesus (Isaiah 26:3) and not on the circumstances around them. Our amazing God, who created all things, is in control.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

8. My life is not good or happy.

We all desire things, and we buy into the lie that certain circumstances make us happy. We are lured into thinking we need things or certain circumstances to be content.

But the appeal of new things fades quickly, and we start looking for the next new thing to fill that gap.

Feeling—> I am not content.

Truth—> My God says to be content because He is always and only good.

Teach your kids that we can be content not because of the things we have or the circumstances we are in but because of God’s character. He is always and only good! Happiness is a feeling based on good circumstances. Contentment is not a feeling at all. It’s a result of trusting in God’s goodness.

But those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Psalm 34:10b

9. There’s no hope.

When things appear hopeless, it’s hard to feel like life has a purpose. While this may seem like something only adults face, kids can feel hopeless too. That math problem feels hopeless. Learning to do something difficult may seem hopeless. Making friends may even seem hopeless.

Feeling—> There’s no hope.

Truth—> My God says I have hope because He has a purpose for my life.

Helping our kids to have a confident expectation (the Biblical meaning of hope) will inspire them. Biblical hope never changes, unlike hope in the world, which is constantly changing and failing. No matter what situation we are faced with, God’s truth will allow us to know that He is always in control and He is always good.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 

Hebrews 10:23

Get More Help for Feelings Kids Struggle With

Believe me—I know parenting kids in this culture is a challenge. But the fact that you are searching for ways to help them says a lot about your willingness to take on the challenge. The good news is that you are not alone in this journey. God provides in all areas of our lives.

“Give a man (or child) a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” With that thought in mind, you can give your child tools to help them seek after what God says instead of just telling them what they should think or letting others around them shape their thoughts. The My God Says Life Journal is the perfect tool to help them dig into Scripture, write down thoughts, and solve those hard-to-answer questions.

The My God Says Life Journal covers 15 different topics where God’s truth must be the foundation for our children’s thinking and emotions. It’s packed full of thought-provoking questions as well as applicable Scripture so they can know without a doubt what God says.