“The Birds and the Bees Talk”
I think that might be the most frightening phrase that parents hear. Just thinking about it makes butterflies flutter in my stomach and sweat drop from my palms. Yeah. I’m as nervous as you are about this part of parenting.
Will the timing be right?
Will I say too much?
Will I say too little?
But unless our children literally live under a rock (and they can’t), they will be exposed to sexuality in our culture FAR SOONER than we may desire. So what are we going to do about it?
Will we let the world tell our children how to think about God’s most precious gift to married couples? Or will we impart God’s truth into their perception on this subject. Because you do realize that it will be one or the other. That thought is very convicting to me.
You see, it has become increasingly obvious to me that even though I homeschool, have NO television, attend a VERY conservative church, and make every attempt to keep advertising out of our home, the sexuality “agenda” of the world will still creep in here. I can’t keep it out. I must teach my children to refute it. I must teach them what is right, so they will recognize the worldly thoughts when they encounter them.
Is it possible to have this important talk with my children “too late?” Of course it is. Too late is that point when the ideas of the world have penetrated their thinking and the instruction of God becomes “old fashioned” or “out of style.” You see, I’m fairly convinced that if the world gets to them before I do, then it will e far harder to help them see God’s true design for sex in marriage.
Enter, The Talk by Luke Gilkerson. It’s a 7-lesson study designed for children ages 6-10 and I think it’s just what the doctor ordered. The core of the study is God’s word with a little bit of science sprinkled it. That’s the way it should be!
Click here to buy your copy!
Things that I love about this study:
*You are encouraged to tell your children NOT to share info with other children, as these types of conservations are supposed to be between parents and children only. Oh I love this (and it has been my motto for years- it works!)
*The anatomy pictures in this study are perfect. It’s just enough to help children understand how your body works and how males/females are different, but it’s not inappropriate.
*While the study is designed for ages 6-10, you are given specific things to think about in order to determine your child’s readiness.
*It is meant to be discussed over a period of time, not in one sitting: 7 lessons that are about 10-15 minutes each. AND, you are encouraged to remember that as long as the culture is sending sexual messages to your children, you should be daily combatting them with commentary and pointing to God’s Word.
Click here to buy your copy!
I do love this study and can personally recommend it. I would of course suggest that you read through the entire thing before you begin talking with your children. I would also suggest that you consider bringing nature into the picture. God has created plants and animals that reproduce and lend much to the discussion. Be sure if you do this that you point out that God intended so much more than simple reproduction for His people. (The study does a great job at pointing this out!)
The good news is, they also have 2 new followup books out. One for helping your kids through puberty and the next on relationships. All 3 are staples around our house.
Your turn—>
What do you think? Have you had “the talk” with your kids?
Tallya says
I believe this was for me… today. At bedtime today, after reading about Jacob, his marriages to Leah and Rachel, and how Leah had all these children thinking that finally her husband would love her more, my 6 year old son asked if people have something to do with making babies. I guess the way I have spoken about it in the past has been that God gives us babies and this might have made him think tonight. I honestly was not ready to tell him the details quite yet… I really feel that it is too young of an age and it is so sad that society is making it that we have to tell our kids a bit more than probably should be told at this point. Anyway I told my little man that people have some to do with making babies and God does the rest, which I suspect only peaked his interest but he seemed satisfied with my answer. I will be buying this study soon. Thanks!
Kim Sorgius says
The Bible does have a way of leading us into conversations sometimes! 🙂 Praying that you are able to discern just the right timing.
Diane says
I read with interest your post about the “birds and the bees talk”, especially your reference to “God’s most precious gift to married couples” and “that even though I homeschool, have NO television, attend a VERY conservative church, and make every attempt to keep advertising out of our home, the sexuality “agenda” of the world will still creep in here.”
First of all. Sex is not a God’s precious gift to married couples, although you may want to indoctrinate your children to think so. The desire for sex is intrinsic to all living creatures, human or otherwise. Marriage has nothing to do with it. It is the need to procreate, to continue the species. Spend some time in your backyard and you will see that every living being wants/needs to procreate.
Marriage is not – should not – be about sex. Sex is a physical function. Like eating, drinking, breathing, having a bowel movement. Dogs, cats, squirrels, houseflies have sex. And they don’t get married to do it. When you teach your children that you have to get married to have sex you are lying to them. And falsehoods are a sin.Do people have anything to do with babies? People have EVERYTHING to do with babies. Even godless people have babies. If you don’t want your children to rebel against, or question your beliefs, maybe you could start by being honest.
Kim Sorgius says
If you decide to cut God out of your belief system, your argument would likely make sense. I choose not to deny the existence and sovereignty of my most wonderful Savior and creator. And so do my children.
The truth is very clear in His Word. Yes, God created us and He created those animals you speak of, too. Yes procreation is a function of sex and God did indeed intend it to be. But for people, there is so much more. I’m thankful that fact is true in all of my life. It would sure be a miserable life if I wasn’t capable of more than a squirrel or a housefly. I would not be able to perform at a job, hold any kind of meaningful relationship, or even have enough intelligence not to run into the road when a car is coming. I am so thankful that God created me to be so much more than a squirrel and for giving my life more meaning and purpose than the emptiness that I KNOW for a fact is at the end of the selfish road of carnal sexual gratification.
Bethany Hudson says
Thanks for sharing this intimate example, Kim. I think this will bless many anxious mothers. If you’re interested, this is a resource I’ve had success with in discussing sexuality with my own young children: http://www.amazon.com/How-Makes-Babies-Pure-Foundations/dp/0764202103/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420267335&sr=8-1&keywords=god+makes+babies I love that it covers *just* enough for a child. (None of our kids have showed an interest in sexuality personally yet, but my oldest had lots of questions during my most recent pregnancy, and we decided it was time.)