Sibling Rivalry: The Solutions You Need to Help Kids Get Along
I've been a parent long enough to know that you clicked on this post because you feel desperate to STOP SIBLING RIVALRY in your home and cultivate brother and sister love. Believe me. I get it.
Maybe the fighting is out of control and honestly, it seems beyond repair. Or perhaps your kids haven't gotten there yet, but you feel ever so aware of the possibility of never-ending sibling fighting.
You're not alone. Sibling rivalry is the single most common concern of parents here at Not Consumed! I think it's a fair concern, too. It's hard to live with another person. Even harder when you are a child learning how to navigate life and how to behave in a manner that pleases the Lord!
We are all selfish by nature and it takes years of growing, dying to self, and a LOT of grace to help us even come close to beating that.
So if you hear anything I have to say on this page, please know that if we want to establish strong sibling relationships filled with brother and sister love, we need to give our kids a LOT of grace and a LOT of training.
We have a lot more to say about that, but first, let's get to your most pressing issue...
What to Do With sibling fighting
I wrote a post that lays out 5 principles for stopping sibling fighting. As parents, we won't do it perfectly. But we can aim to incorporate principles into everyday life that help our kids learn to navigate the often difficult waters of sibling relationships. You can read that post by clicking here.
Tools To END SIBLING RIVALRY And enjoy sibling love
The solution to sibling rivalry ISN'T combating the fighting. Fighting is merely a symptom of a deeper problem. If the only thing we do is stop the fighting, we are only applying a band-aid to the issue of sibling rivalry. You know this is true because one minute you break up a fight and the next they are fighting about something else.
We know band-aids are a false sense of security and we all know they don't HEAL anything. Let's apply this truth to sibling relationships. I'm not saying we ignore the fighting. It needs to be handled (use the practical ideas above to help.) But we also have to be doing the MUCH harder work of building the right foundation and stop sibling rivalry.
It all starts with teaching. Anything that we want our kids to become has to begin with a foundation of Biblical knowledge and wisdom that we give them as parents. The sibling relationship is no different.
For When it's just not working
The world says siblings are to be hated and no matter what you do, it's just going to happen that way. Since this business of sibling relationships is so VERY hard, it's easy to believe that life. But, my friend, the world is wrong. We can't throw up our hands and quit. Let's roll up our sleeves and get in the trenches.
WE CAN HELP OUR CHILDREN END SIBLING RIVALRY
AND ENJOY SIBLING LOVE.
Whatever you do, don't give up. It's worth the blood, sweat, and tears as we roll up our sleeves and dig in our heels. Sibling fighting isn't a way of life. It's sin. Yes, it's normal, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable than any other sin.
If you're still struggling and there are kids fighting in your home... STILL... these posts are for you.